Olympic coverage

Watching the Olympics on this side of the world is entirely different. Of course, at home there is all the background on the local athletes and why we can beat the Americans in whatever sport. You get the feeling that those profiled athletes are medal contenders. Here, we get a million 'rags to riches' stories that involve badminton, table tennis and other meaningless sports.

The problem I had during the Olympics was the medal count. Here we are, surrounded by Aussie's and Kiwi's and trying to explain how our athletes do not fair as well as there's.....or North Korea's....or Hungary's ......or friggin' Ethiopia's!!!

The kids were excited to see a Canadian flag on the TV screen but soon realized that the flag was near the bottom of the screen. We were unable to show them video of their anthem being played....except in TRAMPOLINE!

C'mon Canada! Stop being happy to simply 'be there'. WIN, dammit! Show our system works! Do you think there is Chinese or South Korean's questioning that their system works? Hell no.

Customer Service

There have been many rants on this blog regarding AirAsia and the  'Wonderful' customer service they provide. But, here are a few more examples of the highly trained specialists working in southeast Asia.

The family and I are on our way to Kuala Lumpur for a quick getaway. Learning from past experience we make sure we are at the airport early. Our last experience with Air Asia had us getting to the airport two hours early and being chastised by the director for arriving too early. It was our fault that we had to wait almost five hours in the Penang airport since their was a 2.5 hour delay on the plane. What the hell were we thinking arriving early? This would not have sent my blood boiling had they simply provided us with some dinner coupons. But, according to policy, only a delay of three hours or more would result in a dinner coupon. The two hours, thirty five minute delay was non-negotiable. All I could think about was the scene in 'Scent of a Woman' where Al Pacino would "....take a flamethrower to this place!!"

Anyway, we arrive early to our KL flight with the hopes of grabbing some lunch before departure. All systems go. We saddle into a little sandwich place, order a little something-something and lo and behold, there is some mold on our bread. Not a big deal. Send it back.

Waiting......
....waiting...
...waiting...

I go and inquire as to what happened to our sandwich. I see the cook in the back eating our sandwich. The employees (there must have been 10 of them) look to default to the one english speaker amongst them and then scatter like flies. I ask about our sandwich, explaining that we are still hungry and would like to have another sandwich. This is somehow a magical concept to the staff that we may still need to be fed. It never dawned on them that we may need to have our order filled.

This is a country, though, where KFC runs out of chicken and Pizza Hut runs out of dough. In fact, a couple of months ago, Marni and I ordered the last two beers in a bar. I was willing to run to the supermarket downstairs to get some. I fail to see the business sense in running out of items on a menu.

I digress....

Thinking that these types of stories are only in Indonesia we arrive at the KL airport (early, again.....we want to make sure we get proper notification of a delayed flight). Again, we want to have some lunch in the airport. Marni orders a pizza for her and Zoe, Caden and I get some sandwiches sans mold. Caden and I thoroughly enjoy our sandwiches, Marni and Zoe wait for thier pizza......

waiting.....
.....waiting...

Marni goes to inquire and learns that they accidentally delivered their pizza to the wrong table (of which there are eight- three have guests). So Marni asks if they could get another one. She learns that they have run our of chicken pizza. Marni then asks if she was ever going to hear of this little problem. . After some quick negotiating Marni is able to get a vegetarian pizza, instead. The funny thing is, we could have been waiting for an hour and nobody will come and tell you that there has been a mistake made. These situations are a very common occurence around these parts. But, one of the most frustrating parts is that nobody is willing to own up to the mistake. There are simply apologies and smiles. 

Today, I booked plane tickets to some secluded little island. After booking the tickets with my credit card I realize that the website had defaulted back to the current date and I had booked the wrong return flight. No problem.....we head to the head office of the airline. In my hand, I have a booking number, reference number and my payment number.

To make a long story short, I am able to change the dates of my flight but learn that I had not actually had the authorized payment go through on the credit card. The staff there did some digging and find out that the payment was not made. I did have the confirmation number.....but it was not actually confirmed. So, I pay a second time, knowing I will need to check my card balance. I then get an email notice - 7HOURS LATER- that my credit card had not been charged. I could have realistically shown up at the airport with printed tickets that had never been paid for. "I am sorry, Meester."

The sad part about all of this is that the staff members do not have the authority to make any changes to policy. There is no ability on their part to wave some charges or bend a rule to give the staff some satisfaction. All they can do is apologize while screwing you over. It is similar to when the dentist says "This will hurt a little....."

Been awhile

Sorry all, I am certain with summer approaching there is a void that can only be filled with my words and stories.

Anyway, some cool things have happened since our trip to Japan. Firstly, we went to the island of Penang, Malaysia. Very cool place. It has one of the oldest British colonial settlements in the area. There are many old, Victorian style hotels and some great little sidestreets populated by Chinese and Indian buildings. As well, there are a bunch of Buddhist temples all over.

One of the famous temples is the 'Sleeping Buddha'. No, it's not a fat man on the beach, but a huge, reclining Buddha. Just hanging out. Sort of impressive.....but more of a "Why the hell is he laying there?" kind of thing. No real answers as to why Buddha is taking a load off, but I guess we are all entitled.

However, directly across the street was a Burmese Buddhist temple. This one was amazing. Who knew the Burmese made anything but pythons? A surreal experience happened when we were at teh top of the pagoda.....the mosque down the street started its catterwalling. Odd to be listening to Mohammed while hanging with Buddha. And.....everyone got along.

A real shitty experience happened on the city bus in Penang. Caden was sitting on my lap to make room for a guy next to me and the fucker stole my wallet! Classic pickpocket move.... a little distraction when he started looking for his ticket and before I knew it he was gone with my wallet.....taken out of my backpack under my arm. Bastard! On the bright side, the hardest thing to replace is the drivers licenses. It sucks because we cannot plan our trip to Australia for summer because of the fact we cannot rent a car.

On the way home, Air Asia was, once again, a pain in the ass. Damn...low-cost airlines. They suck you in with cheap tickets and then deliver....well.....cheap service. What the hell?

I learned that the reason why the Buses that we take to school (KOPAJAS) have no doors is that they have the exhaust empty into the bus. It's more of a safety measure to ensure we all have clean air to breath. Logical. I must remember that when I am riding to school with my ass and backpack hanging out of the door. Or when the bus is arguably full and four more people get on. But, what do you expect for a quarter?

I must return to proofreading report cards. It is much easier to look outside, see the sun shining, hear birds singing and know that tomorrow and everyday after that will be the same. Much more difficult back home at the end of the school year when you just got out of a shitty cold winter.

Oh, by the way, does someone have a car I can buy for a dollar? Really, no joking. Marni and I have to get a car and insure it or we have to start again with expensive premiums.

Japan

Spring break, this year, Marni and I decided that we would take the kids off to Japan for a short break. At the beginning of the planning session it was proving to be very expensive. But, then we figured it would be the same to take a trip to Toronto or Victoria. The flights were about the same and hitting a Starbucks still costs you $20. So, what the hell. It's another stamp in the passport.

First off, I must recommend not flying an Indonesian Airline. Simply, Indonesians cannot line up. The velvet rope does not apply to them. We were the first loaded on the plane (because of the kids), the kids ate their meals early and we were offered more space when there were empty seats. Wow, an airline that has some common sense- something that clearly lacks, here.

Anyway, first stop- Tokyo. No vending machines filled with ladies panties (as I was told there were many) and a whole lot of drunk old men. Actually, a lot of drunk men in general. Apparently, we were in the nightclub district.

Thoughts on Tokyo: It is truly amazing how a city of 25 million people can have no crowds. We were expecting to be crowded on trains, buses and subways. Nothing. Apparently, with some planning and respectful citizens, things work! Jakarta take note. Another note, what the hell are the women wearing. There is a group that dress as cartoon characters, really. Little Bo Peep, school girls, etc. all walking around trying to be noticed. Rest of the women....dressed like hookers. Certainly adds to the sightseeing. In some areas it was like watching people that had dressed in the dark. Just put on whatever you have around and call it an outfit. Excuse me, Mr. Blackwell.

We went to many temples, shrines and museums. All were wonderful. Very.....Japanese. Everything you would expect in Japanese efficiency applies to their sightseeing. Get in. Follow the signs. Snap photos. Get the hell out.

We were, unfortunately about a week too early for cherry blossoms. Some trees were spectacular but there were only the odd few that were in full bloom. We were able to see some in Kyoto.

Off to Kyoto- sight of the Kyoto Accord on Climatge Change. Ironically, there are about 5 different subway lines that are all unrelated and add to the confusion of mass transit. But, a truly beautiful city, nonetheless. Many beautiful temples, castles and Marni was very happy to see Geishas walking the streets to celebrate the cherry blossoms.

Caden did approach a couple of Geisha's to ask for a photo. He mentioned that they made him nervous. Boompa explained that men typically get nervous around women.

Funny little story, we were out for dinner next to our hotel one night. After Marni had returned to the hotel with Zoe I asked for the bill. I then realized that she had my wallet. Luckily, the people at the table next to us (while eating thir freshly de-limbed live octopus) were able to explain that I would run next door and grab my wallet. However, the man did explain that they would probably not trust me to leave and return. So after leaving my son as collateral I was able to leave and return to pay the bill.

We then went to Osaka. Really, quite a nice city. Highlight of that trip was one of the world's largest aquariums. Probably more of a Denny's menu to the locals, though. There were signs explaining how many of the creatures are endangered or threatened surrounding the tanks. Then, they were on the menu for dinner. Caden's highlight was seeing the whale shark.

Overall, life is good. The trip was very nice. We were able to see some cherry blossoms, Mount Fuji and some very cool temples and castles.

Renovations

I understand why I am writing these so infrequently. I am so used to the amount of insanity that surrounds me in this country that I forget to write it down.

Our school has been building a beautiful addition to the property. It is a four story secondary and administration building. The project has been going since last July. Actually, with people that use very little in terms of modern tools, the building is stunning and was erected very quickly. Yes, yes I did just use the word erected.

Here are a few issues we have had to deal with:

Firstly, the building was supposed to be done over Xmas holidays. Considering the size of the project that does not surprise me that they were late. Even now that the building is 99% complete and teachers have moved in we are still waiting for the power company to hook things up. It turns out that they need to shut the power down to the entire neighbourhood to hook up our power. But, when talking to others, the only time the power company needs to do that is if they are upgrading the entire system to the entire neighbourhood. Turns out, they are trying to make our school pay for upgrades they need to make anyway. What?! Corruption in this country?! No! (insert sarcasm, here) So, as of yesterday, the school does not have enough electricity to power the whole school. My A/C crapped out over lunch and my room was a sauna for the afternoon. In fact, even Zoe wouldn't come in because she said it smelled like sweat.

We have wheelchair accessability, now. Unfortunately, when they connected the new buiding to the old one they did not measure the height differences. So, our wheelchair ramp comes with a 1.5 metre drop off at the end. But, just to keep everyone feeling equal, the stairs have the same drop off. Look on the bright side, we are the first school with cross-country running facilities on campus.

Because we have been building so many different buildings on the campus, we have been subjected to constant flooding. Classrooms, cafeterias, assembly halls have all been washed out with the rains. In fact, the temporary wall in our assembly hall has almost rotted through.

To bring up the safety regulations in the new building, we have installed a fire extinguishing system. Brilliantly, they designed a pump that would use the pool water in case of any fire emergency. Not a bad idea considering traffic and fire-fighting facilities in Jakarta. Anyway, there are these enormous pipes that run down the side of the property, hanging from the cement walls that divide up the properties. As well, the pipes begin in the shallow end of the swimming pool. However, I don't think the designers understand how much water weighs. It is clear to me that if they fill those pipes with water they will tear off the wall and bend. But, what do I know?

Also, because the pipes begin in the shallow end of the pool there is no way they have access to all of the water in the pool. Hopefully, if there is a fire, it is a small one. Also, hope there are no small children in the pool so they don't get sucked into the pipes.

We had a worker cut himself on a piece of broken glass recently. Our Principal got him all fixed up and the bleeding stopped. He then proceeded to go and pick up more glass and almost cut his thumb off. I am unsure if he went back to work after that incident.

Another long time

Once again time has escaped me and I have been ignoring my duty to keep you all informed of our life over here. Several wonderful developments have happened recently.

We have officially passed our half-way point of being here. At this time next year we will be preparing for our triumphant return home. Then we will have to spend a tremendous amount of money to buy all the things that we sold off before leaving. Entire wardrobes will need to be purchased as both Marni and I are about svelte and buff and the kids are about eight inches taller then when we left.

Caden cut his head for about 20 stitches some time ago. He fell in the playground and cut himself so deep that the doctor said he was close to reaching skull. This being the second set of stitches received by a Kindy made one think that possibly there was some areas in the playground that weren't safe. Caden has been much happier, though as now that several new students have arrived in his class that have so many problems he has gone from being 'Public Enemy #1' to 'Normal four-year old boy'. He has been surrounded by 'The Screamer', 'The Prince', two Arab 'Escape Artists' and 'The Shitter'. From the sounds of it, he was normal all along.

The rainy season has been just that. There are some interesting little diseases that creep up in a school as the little bugs get to incubate. We have a couple of cases of 'Hand, foot and mouth', 'Dengue', 'Typhoid', 'Lice' and any range of flu coughs. I have recently learned that Indonesians don't get 'colds'. They get 'fevers'. Why would they get a cold?

Caden had a play date, today. I was surprised to see the little boy's Nanny in Caden's room as I got out of bed wearing my t-shirt and underwear. I am certain she was surprised, too. Apparently, the little boy goes nowhere without his nanny. It was strange to have her hang around and play with the boys. It was also strange to see the boy wait at the bottom of the stairs so she could pick him up because he 'couldn't or wouldn't do it himself. But, I guess he is only four. What do I expect? Realize, this is a boy from Caden's school who Marni and I see everyday. It is not like we are strangers.

Some interesting developments with labour laws in Indonesia. Apparently, the rules are changing regarding how many Indonesians should be employed by a school. What tends to happen- and it is fair- is that for every expat employed, they want to have an Indonesian 'shadow' to learn the ropes. Our school does an excellent job doing that however, some of the larger schools do not employ a lot of Indos. Unfortunately, the Principal of the school needs to hold a Master's degree. Fine, except for the fact that our Principal holds every other credential equivalent to a Master's- except for a Master's. What I have suggested is that Marni or I get to be the Principal and Chris gets to be a 'Consultant'. Maybe we can pad our resume a bit more. We will see how that all plays out. Regulations get changed like underwear around here.

A long time

It has been a terribly long time since I have been in touch with many of you. Many things have happened.

Mom and Dad had a great time in Bali. Y'know, being paradise and all......just friggin' wonderful.

Off Mom, Dad and I went to Jogjakarta. What is there, you ask? Just a couple temples. One of them being the largest Buddhist temple in the world. Looks like a big pile of stones, actually. Mom did a great job in the heat and climbed to the top with her bionic knees. Kudos to you, old lady. Dad's own Buddha was highly regarded by the locals.....sort of a trend that followed him through Asia, actually. In Canada, not so attractive. But here, get your groove on, Old Man!

Dad established himself as one hell of a bargain finder. The guy was buying the biggest pieces of shit for the lowest possible price. In fact, one local lady said to our driver that he was tough for a Bule. I am certain she only made 40% profit on that transaction. A toothless grin all the way to the closest Nasi Goreng kaki lima.

At this point I don't think mom had the shits!

Christmas was great! After opening all of his presents Caden complained that he did not get enough. Santa is such an asshole!

Vic and Kathleen arrived on the 27th and we had some great visits. Many bottles of wine, macaroni and Cheerios were had by all.

Off to Vietnam we went! First stop, Ho Chi Mihn City (or Saigon to you non-communists).

Wonderful city. I highly recommend it. Stuff is CHEAP! T-shirts for $3. Dry-fit Adidas for $5. After bragging about the 'smokin' deal he got on a North Face backpack, Dad realized he paid a whopping 90 cents more then me.....at a place where there was no haggling. Great job, Buddy!

Sales pitch of the trip has to go to some little hussy that asked Vic what he was looking for. Vic replied "Nothing". She then grabs him by the arm, pulls him into her shop and says "I'll show you nothing!". I don't recall if be bought 'nothing'.

I still don't think mom had the shits, yet. But she sure was cringing whenever we ate.

One of the things I realized......We buy too much crap! When we buy crap, there is just another truckload of it to buy, again. Somebody has to make this crap and from what I have experienced in Asia- the people making our crap don't have a great life because of it! Don't think we are making life wonderful for them by giving them jobs. They are better off without us needing trinkets, do-dads and wingdings.

Unfortunately, I like trinkets, do-dads and wingdings. Now I just feel bad about it.

New Years Eve in Saigon was very cool. Marni and I went for a walk around the main public park that was filled with food stalls, live bands and hundreds of thousands of people. I was asked if I wanted a little 'Boom boom'....and not by Marni. I have seen enough Vietnam movies to understand what that meant.

We then went to the Mekong Delta. Some of the most fertile lands in Asia. People lived, more or less, on the river as its many tributaries act as roadways. We went to the floating market where all the boats, loaded with goods, just sit on the water. You float up, get what you need and head out. Seeing the beer boat reassured me we were no longer in a Muslim country.

Off to Da Nang and a little city called Hoian. You would know the name Da Nang from many Vietnam movies from back in the day. In contrary to movie culture, the Americans did not win and frankly, didn't have a hope in winning. Da Nang was a beautiful area that I hope we have a chance to return to. Beaches, history (both recent and ancient), cheap stuff and good food.

Mom probably had the shits, here.

Up to Hanoi for another couple of days. We didn't spend too much time as we were off to the Hai Long Bay. This bay is a World Heritage site and is what you would expect in an Asian painting. I could not describe what it looked like.

We spent two night on a Junk that fed us very well. Unfortunately, it was about 10 degree. The first time I have been cold since leaving Canada. In fact, one day it was warmer in Calgary then on the Bay. We were able to do things such as eat dinner in a cave, go kayaking through other caves and rock formations and eat the freshest fish you could ever imagine. One of the highlights for me was visiting a remote fishing village that is pretty much self-sufficient. They are getting some help from the boat companies but they have schools, little shops and they get a fair price for their fish. Interestingly, there were many dogs. Not for food (I know what your thinking).

Mom definitely had the shits, here.

We spent another lovely night in Hanoi. We went for 'Local' food and a little hole in the wall place. Think of the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. Literally, that is what it was. No questions about what you want- everybody gets beef. What size? Medium. Price? Yes. Great noodles, though. Mom soldiered through it. Nobody got sick from the food.