Are you f@&$ing serious?

Christmas holidays are here. Mom and Dad showed up unscathed. All seems great.

Let me tell you about our trip to Bali.

First, web check in. Sounds wonderful. New addition to AirAsia.

Call cab to pick us up at 8:00.

8:30 family is walking across the street to catch a cab because said cab has not shown up. "sorry, Meester" .

10:25- arrive at airport for 10:35 flight to Bali. Told because I had used the web check in I would have to purchase six new tickets. 10:26- security arrives after I slammed my hands on the counter telling the attendant that the plane would take off late because no AirAsia flight has ever taken off on time. After being told that they had closed the gate and we could not get on, my blood pressure rises some more. Mental note and real pisser- the plane did not take off until 10:52.... So, it was late.

After only paying a service fee, we were able to get new tickets on the 1:45 flight out. Good news.

Bad news....that plane was 50 minutes late for arrival. Take off time...3:00.

So, we wasted half a day in Bali. How was I supposed to add to my collection of carved, wooden dick bottle openers?

Had a great time in Bali with the folks.

Going to Jogjakarta with mom and dad.

6:00am flight. Need to leave hotel at 4:00 am. Up at three, have a driver already lined up. The same driver who we had used for the previous three days.

4:00- phone driver to check if he is on his way.

4:15- get in touch with driver who was still sleeping. He says he is half an hour away.

4:23- driver picks us up.

4:24- wonder how much gas is in his tank when the little 'need gas' light comes on. Also wonder if gas stations are open at this early hour. Also wonder why a person who has no gas does not fill up tank the night before. Also wonder why I am being so calm......ahhh....memories of security. Catch more flies with honey. But shit works well, too.

4:45- mom has covered her eyes because she cannot believe how driver is driving. Welcome to Indonesia, mom!

4:55- getting gas. Still need to make the plane.

After almost losing control while hydro planing, driver says we are five minutes away from airport. I tell him it would be a shame to die so close to destination and he slowed down. You're welcome, mom.

5:20- arrive at airport. Unfortunately, there was some construction and I think there was a 20min. Walk to the front gates.

5:30- in line for tickets

Plane takes off ten minutes late.