It turns out I was quite the fat bastard back in Canada or I have picked up a parasite. In fact, both are probably true. Since arriving in August I have lost around 15 pounds. I guess sweating your bag off, eating nothing but chicken and rice and getting the shits weekly can really shed the pounds. With losing all of this weight comes a couple of things:
1) My golf clubs aare now metric. In Indonesia, golf distance is measured in metres. So, when my supple, saintly caddie whispers softly into my ear "Meester, you are 125 away.", I had to do some math in my head. But now that I am wasting away I have increased my distance and now don't have to do the math. That will suck when I return to Canada- unless I bring a caddie with me (which many of them would be happy to do).
2) All of my pants do not fit. But, be not concerned, my friends. Fifi and Lasmi hooked me up with a wonderful little tailor. In fact, he is so good he makes house calls....on his bike....with a foot powered sewing machine like Oma had. After some saavy negotiations (by Fifi) I had the tailor taking all of my shorts in for $2 a pair. Highway (or back alley) robbery, I tell you! I know have a new wardrobe for about $15. Yay me.
Here are some of the interesting observations that I made, however. Mr. Bike entrepeneur measured my waste at 36 inches. He then proceeded to take 3 1/2 inches off all of my shorts (Yes, ladies, it not all about pounds. Size does matter). The strange thing is that my shorts were sold to me at the size of 34 inches! What, the fashion industry is dishonest? How could I be three inches smaller and still measure a 36? Hmmmm. So, essentially, I am a 30-32 inch waist, at home. Sorry Dad....Mom is not shrinking your clothes.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Holiday's end
We are winding down our Xmas holidays. We decided to take an impromptu trip to Yogyakarta. It is a city in central Java that is home to the largest Buddhist temple in the world. Just a pile of rocks, really. But, an impressive pile of rocks from the 8th century.
Some funny things that have been happening. Caden has started to have 'meetings' with Vic. It will start with Caden saying in the sweetest little voice "Boompa, could you tell me about Ironman?". Caden can remember every detail and he knows if you make a mistake. Boompa and I had to by Ironman 1 and 2 just to make sure we had the story correct.
Another story that has impressed Caden and will continue to impress the masses is when he says "Let me tell you about Baby Jesus." It is a very sad story where Jesus (who is a she) trips three times while carrying some wood. And, because the king hates Jesus they nail him (her) to the wood, lift her up and she dies. Kind of cute except that should not be an opening line of too many conversations.
Vic is a the look-alike to an Australian movie star. I am sure a very famous one. But, Indonesians do know who Kenny Rogers is, too.
One of the humbling experiences with our little trip was a tour around Mt. Merapi, the volcano that erupted in October. To see the amount of devastation and loss is quite a site to see. Strangely, what is happening now is their are companies digging up the volcanic sand and selling it to the people. There are scads of gravel trucks filled with the 'lehar' to create profit. To hell with people's homes, get the sand! It is sad to see people that had nothing have less than that after all this is done. It was good to see homes with large cisterns with American Red Cross stickers carrying fresh water in some of the areas. It shows that some of your donation money is put to good use. However, where most of that money goes is anyone's guess.
Some funny things that have been happening. Caden has started to have 'meetings' with Vic. It will start with Caden saying in the sweetest little voice "Boompa, could you tell me about Ironman?". Caden can remember every detail and he knows if you make a mistake. Boompa and I had to by Ironman 1 and 2 just to make sure we had the story correct.
Another story that has impressed Caden and will continue to impress the masses is when he says "Let me tell you about Baby Jesus." It is a very sad story where Jesus (who is a she) trips three times while carrying some wood. And, because the king hates Jesus they nail him (her) to the wood, lift her up and she dies. Kind of cute except that should not be an opening line of too many conversations.
Vic is a the look-alike to an Australian movie star. I am sure a very famous one. But, Indonesians do know who Kenny Rogers is, too.
One of the humbling experiences with our little trip was a tour around Mt. Merapi, the volcano that erupted in October. To see the amount of devastation and loss is quite a site to see. Strangely, what is happening now is their are companies digging up the volcanic sand and selling it to the people. There are scads of gravel trucks filled with the 'lehar' to create profit. To hell with people's homes, get the sand! It is sad to see people that had nothing have less than that after all this is done. It was good to see homes with large cisterns with American Red Cross stickers carrying fresh water in some of the areas. It shows that some of your donation money is put to good use. However, where most of that money goes is anyone's guess.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Happy New Year
Here I am, sitting in a hotel room with Marni and her parents. Here are some descriptions of the event.
Vic and Kathleen are both snoring at 10:00 while Vic has the TV remote on his lap. So, I am now watching CSI Sydney, or some terrible equivalent. That is okay seems how we get to finish the wine in their glasses.
Just a side note. There is an Asian equivalent to almost every TV show we have at home. I just saw the advertisement for 'Dicey Driving' which is the Siberian equivalent of Ice Road Truckers.
It is thundering outside and there is a great lightning show.
In the rain, some animals are hanging in the trees and honking like a flock of Canada Geese. It is really friggin' loud. I think they are frogs.
But, what did we do, today. Well, after waking up we get picked up at our hotel room by an elephant. Literally, the stairs up to our rooms are raised and the elephants walk right up. We got to bathe an elephant this morning. I actually touched the bottom of an elephant's foot. Tell me your thinking about what it feels like. Caden sprayed it in the eye and Zoe was really concerned about washing his tusks.
As we watched the baby elephants run around Zoe decided that she was 'bored'. What a shit!
Strange to think that I will celebrate the New Year a full 13 hours before you will. I will wake up and tell you how it looks.
Be safe!
All the best wishes for 2011. Marni and I miss you all. Not equally, but you are all missed in your own little way. It has been a strange Xmas due to the difference in weather and overall feel.
Vic and Kathleen are both snoring at 10:00 while Vic has the TV remote on his lap. So, I am now watching CSI Sydney, or some terrible equivalent. That is okay seems how we get to finish the wine in their glasses.
Just a side note. There is an Asian equivalent to almost every TV show we have at home. I just saw the advertisement for 'Dicey Driving' which is the Siberian equivalent of Ice Road Truckers.
It is thundering outside and there is a great lightning show.
In the rain, some animals are hanging in the trees and honking like a flock of Canada Geese. It is really friggin' loud. I think they are frogs.
But, what did we do, today. Well, after waking up we get picked up at our hotel room by an elephant. Literally, the stairs up to our rooms are raised and the elephants walk right up. We got to bathe an elephant this morning. I actually touched the bottom of an elephant's foot. Tell me your thinking about what it feels like. Caden sprayed it in the eye and Zoe was really concerned about washing his tusks.
As we watched the baby elephants run around Zoe decided that she was 'bored'. What a shit!
Strange to think that I will celebrate the New Year a full 13 hours before you will. I will wake up and tell you how it looks.
Be safe!
All the best wishes for 2011. Marni and I miss you all. Not equally, but you are all missed in your own little way. It has been a strange Xmas due to the difference in weather and overall feel.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Holidays
Tonight we are spending the night in the Elephant Safari park in Taro, Bali. It is, apparently, some famous place that is the number one place to be. So Julia Roberts stayed here? Who cares that the Prime Minister of Britain came, too? But, then I see that Dolf Lundgren was here in 2003! Holy shit- Dolf Lundgren! The Universal Soldier, himself. Now that is an A-list celebrity.
What does staying here get you? We were picked up by an elephant and taken to dinner. Tomorrow morning, another will come by the room, pick us up and take us to breakfast. It's kind of cool. I haven't been on an elephant since I was a kid. There was that time I was my Buddies wingman at Essie's in University, but elephant might be a little harsh. I want to insert a nasty joke about Vic for having to get his own elephant, but it is his birthday.
Bali is a very interesting place. It is sort of like a tropical Banff. Everybody has a carving shop and sells little trinkets. However, the prices are a little more reasonable. I have trouble seeing the paradise in it, though. I mean, with the white, sandy beaches, tropical rainforests and panoramic vistas something seems to be missing. There is something nice about seeing more Bule, though.
What does staying here get you? We were picked up by an elephant and taken to dinner. Tomorrow morning, another will come by the room, pick us up and take us to breakfast. It's kind of cool. I haven't been on an elephant since I was a kid. There was that time I was my Buddies wingman at Essie's in University, but elephant might be a little harsh. I want to insert a nasty joke about Vic for having to get his own elephant, but it is his birthday.
Bali is a very interesting place. It is sort of like a tropical Banff. Everybody has a carving shop and sells little trinkets. However, the prices are a little more reasonable. I have trouble seeing the paradise in it, though. I mean, with the white, sandy beaches, tropical rainforests and panoramic vistas something seems to be missing. There is something nice about seeing more Bule, though.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Christmas
Well, it is the Christmas holidays. Marni and I are eagerly anticipating Vic and Kathleen's arrival. Yes, even I am awaiting the visit of the Mother-in-law. I am sure she is carrying maple syrup. One of my students thought that was like oil that kept Canadians alive.
It certainly feels like Christmas....with the 30 degree temperatures, the school-wide pool party and frequent deluges. Our predominantly Muslim students were belting out carols about Jesus without skipping a beat. Some Upper School students did a wonderful rendition of 'Smoke on the Water' by Deep Purple for the Fine Arts night.
We had report cards due on Friday, too. If anyone back home wants to complain about the amount of work you do for report cards- SUCK IT UP!! Apparently, our parents (of whom many cannot speak English) will go through our comments with a fine-toothed comb to find mistakes. I am sure that doesn't really happen but the amount of time I went through proofreading comments was staggering. And, because of our 'top notch' computer system there was nary a mistake. I hope you feel the oozing sarcasm from these sentences.
We had a little shindig today for some friends. I am sure it is strange for people to come to school holding bags of liquor. It is really just a regular day for me. We tried a Durian doughnut. It smelled like Blue Cheese and tasted like (what I will assume) shit!
But, Thursday we are off to Bali. I know, I know, screw me for not getting stuck in the driveway or having to shovel snow. But, I must say, a tropical Christmas is very strange.
Special thanks to Wendy, James, Barb and Shawn for sending us the old, ugly candlestick. It was broken in several places but what do you expect, they sent it in September and it arrived this past Friday. They also sent us some rats, tampons and Canadian stickers. Apparently, the candlestick is a hit. Some of our friends really liked it. Unfortunately, it will be evidence in the mail fraud case against them for not correctly identifying the packages contents.
Anyway, Happy Holidays to you all. We miss you very much. Not equally, but you are all missed in varying degrees.
It certainly feels like Christmas....with the 30 degree temperatures, the school-wide pool party and frequent deluges. Our predominantly Muslim students were belting out carols about Jesus without skipping a beat. Some Upper School students did a wonderful rendition of 'Smoke on the Water' by Deep Purple for the Fine Arts night.
We had report cards due on Friday, too. If anyone back home wants to complain about the amount of work you do for report cards- SUCK IT UP!! Apparently, our parents (of whom many cannot speak English) will go through our comments with a fine-toothed comb to find mistakes. I am sure that doesn't really happen but the amount of time I went through proofreading comments was staggering. And, because of our 'top notch' computer system there was nary a mistake. I hope you feel the oozing sarcasm from these sentences.
We had a little shindig today for some friends. I am sure it is strange for people to come to school holding bags of liquor. It is really just a regular day for me. We tried a Durian doughnut. It smelled like Blue Cheese and tasted like (what I will assume) shit!
But, Thursday we are off to Bali. I know, I know, screw me for not getting stuck in the driveway or having to shovel snow. But, I must say, a tropical Christmas is very strange.
Special thanks to Wendy, James, Barb and Shawn for sending us the old, ugly candlestick. It was broken in several places but what do you expect, they sent it in September and it arrived this past Friday. They also sent us some rats, tampons and Canadian stickers. Apparently, the candlestick is a hit. Some of our friends really liked it. Unfortunately, it will be evidence in the mail fraud case against them for not correctly identifying the packages contents.
Anyway, Happy Holidays to you all. We miss you very much. Not equally, but you are all missed in varying degrees.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Ho's
Just sitting here after watching the downloaded Christmas episode of Glee and thought I would give a little update.
This morning Zoe came running to my classroom with some friends and wanted me to see something. I thought it was going to be a huge, hideous insect of some kind but it turned out she wanted to show me that she could finally cross the monkey bars herself. It was a big event until she fell off and broke her wrist. I knew it was broken the second I saw it. She was such a trooper.
Anyway, off to the hospital she went with Marni. Turned out she needed to have surgery done and a pin inserted because the bones had shifted. The American teachers here are pretty enamored with the facilities. It would cost them their first born to get the procedure done on the first born.
Funny enough, though it was a year ago this passed Sunday that Zoe broke her left wrist. So now, she has a matching set. Just in time for Xmas, too. However, she should have the cast off by Xmas which means she should be able to swim in the ocean in Bali.
Just mentioning Xmas. These people, for being 98% Muslim, they really do Xmas right. The carols in the mall are a little to be desired but the decorations are amazing. Way better then home. Just no pork! By the way, check out "No pork" on youtube. It is an Indonesian restaurant. It's good times.
This morning Zoe came running to my classroom with some friends and wanted me to see something. I thought it was going to be a huge, hideous insect of some kind but it turned out she wanted to show me that she could finally cross the monkey bars herself. It was a big event until she fell off and broke her wrist. I knew it was broken the second I saw it. She was such a trooper.
Anyway, off to the hospital she went with Marni. Turned out she needed to have surgery done and a pin inserted because the bones had shifted. The American teachers here are pretty enamored with the facilities. It would cost them their first born to get the procedure done on the first born.
Funny enough, though it was a year ago this passed Sunday that Zoe broke her left wrist. So now, she has a matching set. Just in time for Xmas, too. However, she should have the cast off by Xmas which means she should be able to swim in the ocean in Bali.
Just mentioning Xmas. These people, for being 98% Muslim, they really do Xmas right. The carols in the mall are a little to be desired but the decorations are amazing. Way better then home. Just no pork! By the way, check out "No pork" on youtube. It is an Indonesian restaurant. It's good times.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Out my window
Here are just a few things I am seeing out of my classroom window.
There is one of our 'gardeners' trimming the hedge with a weed wacker. It is, actually, a common way of doing that around here. Earlier in the year we saw that the school had purchased a lawnmower. You should have seen how excited the staff was to see that. They were crouched around it looking at the blades- meanwhile the mower was OPERATING! Myself and the headmaster had to run out and tell them to put shoes on. Funny thing is, we really don't have any lawn around here. It was used more as a slingshot to fire rocks around the schoolyard.
Yesterday, I watched the cleaning staff remove a beehive from behind the gym. The hive was about the size of a nice Xmas turkey. Here though, one would be geared up with a mask and gloves. I've watched Billy the Exterminator- I know what sort of evil pestilance bees can rain down on people. Anyways, these bees were the most unaggressive bees I have seen. However, the fact that all the cleaning staff did was light a cigarette and blow it on the the hive made me a little nervous. I am sure he come out unscathed. I little buzzed from smoking five cigarettes in 10 minutes, but he didn't get stung.
The men behind our apartment have been making great progress on the house behind us. It is interesting to think that these guys actually LIVE in the house as they build it. They have a campfire in what looks to be the garage. They hang their laundry up along the front. We see them walk around in towels after a shower. It funny to see them work as long as possible during a thunderstorm. Truly, unless the lightning hits the building, they will continue to work. Who needs safety? Just get the job done! If only we all thought that way.
Marni and I went to the St. Andrew's Society ball the other night. Common joke: If you want to see what a man wears under his kilt you'd better shine your shoes. It could be possible, though, to get them drunk enough that you might learn, too. We did eat the Haggis. And, it was quite tasty.
At the ball, we did learn the "Traditional Canadian Barn Dance". Everyone thought Marni and I knew it. I didn't know we had one. But, apparently the people from Ontario knew that one- Friggan Liberals!
There is one of our 'gardeners' trimming the hedge with a weed wacker. It is, actually, a common way of doing that around here. Earlier in the year we saw that the school had purchased a lawnmower. You should have seen how excited the staff was to see that. They were crouched around it looking at the blades- meanwhile the mower was OPERATING! Myself and the headmaster had to run out and tell them to put shoes on. Funny thing is, we really don't have any lawn around here. It was used more as a slingshot to fire rocks around the schoolyard.
Yesterday, I watched the cleaning staff remove a beehive from behind the gym. The hive was about the size of a nice Xmas turkey. Here though, one would be geared up with a mask and gloves. I've watched Billy the Exterminator- I know what sort of evil pestilance bees can rain down on people. Anyways, these bees were the most unaggressive bees I have seen. However, the fact that all the cleaning staff did was light a cigarette and blow it on the the hive made me a little nervous. I am sure he come out unscathed. I little buzzed from smoking five cigarettes in 10 minutes, but he didn't get stung.
The men behind our apartment have been making great progress on the house behind us. It is interesting to think that these guys actually LIVE in the house as they build it. They have a campfire in what looks to be the garage. They hang their laundry up along the front. We see them walk around in towels after a shower. It funny to see them work as long as possible during a thunderstorm. Truly, unless the lightning hits the building, they will continue to work. Who needs safety? Just get the job done! If only we all thought that way.
Marni and I went to the St. Andrew's Society ball the other night. Common joke: If you want to see what a man wears under his kilt you'd better shine your shoes. It could be possible, though, to get them drunk enough that you might learn, too. We did eat the Haggis. And, it was quite tasty.
At the ball, we did learn the "Traditional Canadian Barn Dance". Everyone thought Marni and I knew it. I didn't know we had one. But, apparently the people from Ontario knew that one- Friggan Liberals!
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