Happy New Year

Here I am, sitting in a hotel room with Marni and her parents. Here are some descriptions of the event.

Vic and Kathleen are both snoring at 10:00 while Vic has the TV remote on his lap. So, I am now watching CSI Sydney, or some terrible equivalent. That is okay seems how we get to finish the wine in their glasses.

Just a side note. There is an Asian equivalent to almost every TV show we have at home. I just saw the advertisement for 'Dicey Driving' which is the Siberian equivalent of Ice Road Truckers.

It is thundering outside and there is a great lightning show.

In the rain, some animals are hanging in the trees and honking like a flock of Canada Geese. It is really friggin' loud. I think they are frogs.

But, what did we do, today. Well, after waking up we get picked up at our hotel room by an elephant. Literally, the stairs up to our rooms are raised and the elephants walk right up. We got to bathe an elephant this morning. I actually touched the bottom of an elephant's foot. Tell me your thinking about what it feels like. Caden sprayed it in the eye and Zoe was really concerned about washing his tusks.

As we watched the baby elephants run around Zoe decided that she was 'bored'. What a shit!

Strange to think that I will celebrate the New Year a full 13 hours before you will. I will wake up and tell you how it looks.

Be safe!

All the best wishes for 2011. Marni and I miss you all. Not equally, but you are all missed in your own little way. It has been a strange Xmas due to the difference in weather and overall feel.

Holidays

Tonight we are spending the night in the Elephant Safari park in Taro, Bali. It is, apparently, some famous place that is the number one place to be. So Julia Roberts stayed here? Who cares that the Prime Minister of Britain came, too? But, then I see that Dolf Lundgren was here in 2003! Holy shit- Dolf Lundgren! The Universal Soldier, himself. Now that is an A-list celebrity.

What does staying here get you? We were picked up by an elephant and taken to dinner. Tomorrow morning, another will come by the room, pick us up and take us to breakfast. It's kind of cool. I haven't been on an elephant since I was a kid. There was that time I was my Buddies wingman at Essie's in University, but elephant might be a little harsh. I want to insert a nasty joke about Vic for having to get his own elephant, but it is his birthday.

Bali is a very interesting place. It is sort of like a tropical Banff. Everybody has a carving shop and sells little trinkets. However, the prices are a little more reasonable. I have trouble seeing the paradise in it, though. I mean, with the white, sandy beaches, tropical rainforests and panoramic vistas something seems to be missing. There is something nice about seeing more Bule, though.

Christmas

Well, it is the Christmas holidays. Marni and I are eagerly anticipating Vic and Kathleen's arrival. Yes, even I am awaiting the visit of the Mother-in-law. I am sure she is carrying maple syrup. One of my students thought that was like oil that kept Canadians alive.

It certainly feels like Christmas....with the 30 degree temperatures, the school-wide pool party and frequent deluges. Our predominantly Muslim students were belting out carols about Jesus without skipping a beat. Some Upper School students did a wonderful rendition of 'Smoke on the Water' by Deep Purple for the Fine Arts night.

We had report cards due on Friday, too. If anyone back home wants to complain about the amount of work you do for report cards- SUCK IT UP!! Apparently, our parents (of whom many cannot speak English) will go through our comments with a fine-toothed comb to find mistakes. I am sure that doesn't really happen but the amount of time I went through proofreading comments was staggering. And, because of our 'top notch' computer system there was nary a mistake. I hope you feel the oozing sarcasm from these sentences.

We had a little shindig today for some friends. I am sure it is strange for people to come to school holding bags of liquor. It is really just a regular day for me. We tried a Durian doughnut. It smelled like Blue Cheese and tasted like (what I will assume) shit!

But, Thursday we are off to Bali. I know, I know, screw me for not getting stuck in the driveway or having to shovel snow. But, I must say, a tropical Christmas is very strange.

Special thanks to Wendy, James, Barb and Shawn for sending us the old, ugly candlestick. It was broken in several places but what do you expect, they sent it in September and it arrived this past Friday. They also sent us some rats, tampons and Canadian stickers. Apparently, the candlestick is a hit. Some of our friends really liked it. Unfortunately, it will be evidence in the mail fraud case against them for not correctly identifying the packages contents.

Anyway, Happy Holidays to you all. We miss you very much. Not equally, but you are all missed in varying degrees.

Ho's

Just sitting here after watching the downloaded Christmas episode of Glee and thought I would give a little update.

This morning Zoe came running to my classroom with some friends and wanted me to see something. I thought it was going to be a huge, hideous insect of some kind but it turned out she wanted to show me that she could finally cross the monkey bars herself. It was a big event until she fell off and broke her wrist. I knew it was broken the second I saw it. She was such a trooper.

Anyway, off to the hospital she went with Marni. Turned out she needed to have surgery done and a pin inserted because the bones had shifted. The American teachers here are pretty enamored with the facilities. It would cost them their first born to get the procedure done on the first born.

Funny enough, though it was a year ago this passed Sunday that Zoe broke her left wrist. So now, she has a matching set. Just in time for Xmas, too. However, she should have the cast off by Xmas which means she should be able to swim in the ocean in Bali.

Just mentioning Xmas. These people, for being 98% Muslim, they really do Xmas right. The carols in the mall are a little to be desired but the decorations are amazing. Way better then home. Just no pork! By the way, check out "No pork" on youtube. It is an Indonesian restaurant. It's good times.

Out my window

Here are just a few things I am seeing out of my classroom window.

There is one of our 'gardeners' trimming the hedge with a weed wacker. It is, actually, a common way of doing that around here. Earlier in the year we saw that the school had purchased a lawnmower. You should have seen how excited the staff was to see that. They were crouched around it looking at the blades- meanwhile the mower was OPERATING! Myself and the headmaster had to run out and tell them to put shoes on. Funny thing is, we really don't have any lawn around here. It was used more as a slingshot to fire rocks around the schoolyard.

Yesterday, I watched the cleaning staff remove a beehive from behind the gym. The hive was about the size of a nice Xmas turkey. Here though, one would be geared up with a mask and gloves. I've watched Billy the Exterminator- I know what sort of evil pestilance bees can rain down on people. Anyways, these bees were the most unaggressive bees I have seen. However, the fact that all the cleaning staff did was light a cigarette and blow it on the the hive made me a little nervous. I am sure he come out unscathed. I little buzzed from smoking five cigarettes in 10 minutes, but he didn't get stung.

The men behind our apartment have been making great progress on the house behind us. It is interesting to think that these guys actually LIVE in the house as they build it. They have a campfire in what looks to be the garage. They hang their laundry up along the front. We see them walk around in towels after a shower. It funny to see them work as long as possible during a thunderstorm. Truly, unless the lightning hits the building, they will continue to work. Who needs safety? Just get the job done! If only we all thought that way.

Marni and I went to the St. Andrew's Society ball the other night. Common joke: If you want to see what a man wears under his kilt you'd better shine your shoes. It could be possible, though, to get them drunk enough that you might learn, too. We did eat the Haggis. And, it was quite tasty.

At the ball, we did learn the "Traditional Canadian Barn Dance". Everyone thought Marni and I knew it. I didn't know we had one. But, apparently the people from Ontario knew that one- Friggan Liberals!

Gold

This coming Friday is Lasmi's birthday. Lasmi is the youngest of our two nannies. She will turn 19. According to the lady on staff who is in charge of our staff, she left her town (about a 12 hr drive from here) when she was 16 to start working as a nanny. It is tough to imagine a 16 year old who works upwards of 12 hours per day, 6 days per week for a measly $150 per month. But, that puts her in a 'high end' wage earner bracket.

When asking around for what we should get the nanny the Indonesian staff tells us not to get anything for her. Really, they feel that they are not worthy to enjoy such luxuries. But, there is no convincing Zoe that there will be no birthday gift. Then, in speaking to another Indonesian staff member, she mentioned that many Indonesians by gold when they can. Reason being, they don't go to banks so buying gold jewelry is a way for them to invest. Later, if they need money, they can sell it.

So, off Marni and I went to look for some jewelry for Lasmi. Something we learned today- gold is listed in stores by the weight, not necessarily the price. We saw some gold medallions for sale in a jewelry store (5g, 10g, 25g). Right now, the price of gold is about 325 000 Rp per gram. Try finding some one gram earrings- good luck! Unfortunately for Lasmi, no gold, this year. Apparently, though, there is a market nearby where you can by gold by the gram. I am sure we will find out the 'Bule' price is quite high.

Sacrificial Goats

Marni, the kids and I went to a beach town of Pelabuhan Ruta. It reminded us of going to any other mountain town back home. There were little huts, stores and then a little town site and a few hotels. However, instead of huge hotels lining the beach, there were disheveled mom and pop restaurants and kiosks selling snacks and telephones.

One thing that caught our eyes was the pride people have in their property. Of course, we all have it. But, when you see what a house can look like here, you would think to yourself that these people are obviously just happy to have a roof over their head. Many of the houses are made of woven bamboo walls, some have thatched roofs. Often, the roofs are made of corrugated tin. But, as we were driving through some small towns I saw people painting or gardening and I thought "How interesting that they do still enjoy what they have." Back home, we might enjoy what we have but we all secretly want a little more. Or are envious of those that have more. I am sure they are envious, too. But, they seem a lot more content with their place in the world. That is good considering that there will be more space at the top for me!

Another image that struck us was the goats lining the streets. Everywhere we looked there were three or four goats just hanging around. Sadly, come Wednesday, there will be a few less goats. There is another Muslim holiday where the tradition is to sacrifice a goat and eat it. What brutes! What Archaic traditions! Who could ever imagine a holiday where a helpless animal is fattened up only to be sacrificed, hollowed out and stuffed with other food in order for humans to satisfy themselves? ......and then watch a football game?........and put a rock in their living room? No wonder 98% of Americans shown on Fox news (and 100% of goats) don't like Muslims!!

We were also privy to a number of 'make work' projects for the locals. Definitely, with western economies in the tank our governments can take a few ideas with them. For example:

When part of the road is washed out, instead of fixing the road, a few locals get together to direct traffic across the one lane of the road. Meanwhile, they hold out a collection box to take donations for their service.

Makeshift "toll" roads are erected in random spots along the mountain roads. But really, they are so non-aggressive that you can pass through unscathed.

The lifeguard on the swimming beach also moonlights as parking patrol. There was a large field for parking and about two cars. But, for 20 cents, he will help you back out. I do think that if you don't pay him a small child will "accidentally" be found under your vehicle. Meanwhile, there were 500 people swimming in the water.

Children with umbrellas running around parking lots just hoping it rains so they can cover you as you get out of your car. We would have about two or three of them racing to the car to save us. Fortunately, being an ignorant white person gives me license to not tip Plus, I don't know how much. I did give $5 to the lady who picked up Marni's shoes.


Some other events of the weekend:

Marni left her runners laying in a parking lot. Thank goodness they are so big that when we returned we found two local children playing in one of them.

There was, what seemed to be a local "Corporate challenge". Whoda thunk that Indonesian's can play beach volleyball? There were dancing competitions- a dance similar to the "Electric Slide" line dance was done.

Cows on the beach. Real cows, not fat ladies. Possibly just as funny but less awkward.

We saw an Indonesian Midget. Quite cute.

Don't wear life jackets in the ocean. Good words from the local (french-speaking) surfer guide, Dude.