Watching the Olympics on this side of the world is entirely different. Of course, at home there is all the background on the local athletes and why we can beat the Americans in whatever sport. You get the feeling that those profiled athletes are medal contenders. Here, we get a million 'rags to riches' stories that involve badminton, table tennis and other meaningless sports.
The problem I had during the Olympics was the medal count. Here we are, surrounded by Aussie's and Kiwi's and trying to explain how our athletes do not fair as well as there's.....or North Korea's....or Hungary's ......or friggin' Ethiopia's!!!
The kids were excited to see a Canadian flag on the TV screen but soon realized that the flag was near the bottom of the screen. We were unable to show them video of their anthem being played....except in TRAMPOLINE!
C'mon Canada! Stop being happy to simply 'be there'. WIN, dammit! Show our system works! Do you think there is Chinese or South Korean's questioning that their system works? Hell no.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Customer Service
There have been many rants on this blog regarding AirAsia and the 'Wonderful' customer service they provide. But, here are a few more examples of the highly trained specialists working in southeast Asia.
The family and I are on our way to Kuala Lumpur for a quick getaway. Learning from past experience we make sure we are at the airport early. Our last experience with Air Asia had us getting to the airport two hours early and being chastised by the director for arriving too early. It was our fault that we had to wait almost five hours in the Penang airport since their was a 2.5 hour delay on the plane. What the hell were we thinking arriving early? This would not have sent my blood boiling had they simply provided us with some dinner coupons. But, according to policy, only a delay of three hours or more would result in a dinner coupon. The two hours, thirty five minute delay was non-negotiable. All I could think about was the scene in 'Scent of a Woman' where Al Pacino would "....take a flamethrower to this place!!"
Anyway, we arrive early to our KL flight with the hopes of grabbing some lunch before departure. All systems go. We saddle into a little sandwich place, order a little something-something and lo and behold, there is some mold on our bread. Not a big deal. Send it back.
Waiting......
....waiting...
...waiting...
I go and inquire as to what happened to our sandwich. I see the cook in the back eating our sandwich. The employees (there must have been 10 of them) look to default to the one english speaker amongst them and then scatter like flies. I ask about our sandwich, explaining that we are still hungry and would like to have another sandwich. This is somehow a magical concept to the staff that we may still need to be fed. It never dawned on them that we may need to have our order filled.
This is a country, though, where KFC runs out of chicken and Pizza Hut runs out of dough. In fact, a couple of months ago, Marni and I ordered the last two beers in a bar. I was willing to run to the supermarket downstairs to get some. I fail to see the business sense in running out of items on a menu.
I digress....
Thinking that these types of stories are only in Indonesia we arrive at the KL airport (early, again.....we want to make sure we get proper notification of a delayed flight). Again, we want to have some lunch in the airport. Marni orders a pizza for her and Zoe, Caden and I get some sandwiches sans mold. Caden and I thoroughly enjoy our sandwiches, Marni and Zoe wait for thier pizza......
waiting.....
.....waiting...
Marni goes to inquire and learns that they accidentally delivered their pizza to the wrong table (of which there are eight- three have guests). So Marni asks if they could get another one. She learns that they have run our of chicken pizza. Marni then asks if she was ever going to hear of this little problem.. After some quick negotiating Marni is able to get a vegetarian pizza, instead. The funny thing is, we could have been waiting for an hour and nobody will come and tell you that there has been a mistake made. These situations are a very common occurence around these parts. But, one of the most frustrating parts is that nobody is willing to own up to the mistake. There are simply apologies and smiles.
Today, I booked plane tickets to some secluded little island. After booking the tickets with my credit card I realize that the website had defaulted back to the current date and I had booked the wrong return flight. No problem.....we head to the head office of the airline. In my hand, I have a booking number, reference number and my payment number.
To make a long story short, I am able to change the dates of my flight but learn that I had not actually had the authorized payment go through on the credit card. The staff there did some digging and find out that the payment was not made. I did have the confirmation number.....but it was not actually confirmed. So, I pay a second time, knowing I will need to check my card balance. I then get an email notice - 7HOURS LATER- that my credit card had not been charged. I could have realistically shown up at the airport with printed tickets that had never been paid for. "I am sorry, Meester."
The sad part about all of this is that the staff members do not have the authority to make any changes to policy. There is no ability on their part to wave some charges or bend a rule to give the staff some satisfaction. All they can do is apologize while screwing you over. It is similar to when the dentist says "This will hurt a little....."
The family and I are on our way to Kuala Lumpur for a quick getaway. Learning from past experience we make sure we are at the airport early. Our last experience with Air Asia had us getting to the airport two hours early and being chastised by the director for arriving too early. It was our fault that we had to wait almost five hours in the Penang airport since their was a 2.5 hour delay on the plane. What the hell were we thinking arriving early? This would not have sent my blood boiling had they simply provided us with some dinner coupons. But, according to policy, only a delay of three hours or more would result in a dinner coupon. The two hours, thirty five minute delay was non-negotiable. All I could think about was the scene in 'Scent of a Woman' where Al Pacino would "....take a flamethrower to this place!!"
Anyway, we arrive early to our KL flight with the hopes of grabbing some lunch before departure. All systems go. We saddle into a little sandwich place, order a little something-something and lo and behold, there is some mold on our bread. Not a big deal. Send it back.
Waiting......
....waiting...
...waiting...
I go and inquire as to what happened to our sandwich. I see the cook in the back eating our sandwich. The employees (there must have been 10 of them) look to default to the one english speaker amongst them and then scatter like flies. I ask about our sandwich, explaining that we are still hungry and would like to have another sandwich. This is somehow a magical concept to the staff that we may still need to be fed. It never dawned on them that we may need to have our order filled.
This is a country, though, where KFC runs out of chicken and Pizza Hut runs out of dough. In fact, a couple of months ago, Marni and I ordered the last two beers in a bar. I was willing to run to the supermarket downstairs to get some. I fail to see the business sense in running out of items on a menu.
I digress....
Thinking that these types of stories are only in Indonesia we arrive at the KL airport (early, again.....we want to make sure we get proper notification of a delayed flight). Again, we want to have some lunch in the airport. Marni orders a pizza for her and Zoe, Caden and I get some sandwiches sans mold. Caden and I thoroughly enjoy our sandwiches, Marni and Zoe wait for thier pizza......
waiting.....
.....waiting...
Marni goes to inquire and learns that they accidentally delivered their pizza to the wrong table (of which there are eight- three have guests). So Marni asks if they could get another one. She learns that they have run our of chicken pizza. Marni then asks if she was ever going to hear of this little problem.
Today, I booked plane tickets to some secluded little island. After booking the tickets with my credit card I realize that the website had defaulted back to the current date and I had booked the wrong return flight. No problem.....we head to the head office of the airline. In my hand, I have a booking number, reference number and my payment number.
To make a long story short, I am able to change the dates of my flight but learn that I had not actually had the authorized payment go through on the credit card. The staff there did some digging and find out that the payment was not made. I did have the confirmation number.....but it was not actually confirmed. So, I pay a second time, knowing I will need to check my card balance. I then get an email notice - 7HOURS LATER- that my credit card had not been charged. I could have realistically shown up at the airport with printed tickets that had never been paid for. "I am sorry, Meester."
The sad part about all of this is that the staff members do not have the authority to make any changes to policy. There is no ability on their part to wave some charges or bend a rule to give the staff some satisfaction. All they can do is apologize while screwing you over. It is similar to when the dentist says "This will hurt a little....."
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Been awhile
Sorry all, I am certain with summer approaching there is a void that can only be filled with my words and stories.
Anyway, some cool things have happened since our trip to Japan. Firstly, we went to the island of Penang, Malaysia. Very cool place. It has one of the oldest British colonial settlements in the area. There are many old, Victorian style hotels and some great little sidestreets populated by Chinese and Indian buildings. As well, there are a bunch of Buddhist temples all over.
One of the famous temples is the 'Sleeping Buddha'. No, it's not a fat man on the beach, but a huge, reclining Buddha. Just hanging out. Sort of impressive.....but more of a "Why the hell is he laying there?" kind of thing. No real answers as to why Buddha is taking a load off, but I guess we are all entitled.
However, directly across the street was a Burmese Buddhist temple. This one was amazing. Who knew the Burmese made anything but pythons? A surreal experience happened when we were at teh top of the pagoda.....the mosque down the street started its catterwalling. Odd to be listening to Mohammed while hanging with Buddha. And.....everyone got along.
A real shitty experience happened on the city bus in Penang. Caden was sitting on my lap to make room for a guy next to me and the fucker stole my wallet! Classic pickpocket move.... a little distraction when he started looking for his ticket and before I knew it he was gone with my wallet.....taken out of my backpack under my arm. Bastard! On the bright side, the hardest thing to replace is the drivers licenses. It sucks because we cannot plan our trip to Australia for summer because of the fact we cannot rent a car.
On the way home, Air Asia was, once again, a pain in the ass. Damn...low-cost airlines. They suck you in with cheap tickets and then deliver....well.....cheap service. What the hell?
I learned that the reason why the Buses that we take to school (KOPAJAS) have no doors is that they have the exhaust empty into the bus. It's more of a safety measure to ensure we all have clean air to breath. Logical. I must remember that when I am riding to school with my ass and backpack hanging out of the door. Or when the bus is arguably full and four more people get on. But, what do you expect for a quarter?
I must return to proofreading report cards. It is much easier to look outside, see the sun shining, hear birds singing and know that tomorrow and everyday after that will be the same. Much more difficult back home at the end of the school year when you just got out of a shitty cold winter.
Oh, by the way, does someone have a car I can buy for a dollar? Really, no joking. Marni and I have to get a car and insure it or we have to start again with expensive premiums.
Anyway, some cool things have happened since our trip to Japan. Firstly, we went to the island of Penang, Malaysia. Very cool place. It has one of the oldest British colonial settlements in the area. There are many old, Victorian style hotels and some great little sidestreets populated by Chinese and Indian buildings. As well, there are a bunch of Buddhist temples all over.
One of the famous temples is the 'Sleeping Buddha'. No, it's not a fat man on the beach, but a huge, reclining Buddha. Just hanging out. Sort of impressive.....but more of a "Why the hell is he laying there?" kind of thing. No real answers as to why Buddha is taking a load off, but I guess we are all entitled.
However, directly across the street was a Burmese Buddhist temple. This one was amazing. Who knew the Burmese made anything but pythons? A surreal experience happened when we were at teh top of the pagoda.....the mosque down the street started its catterwalling. Odd to be listening to Mohammed while hanging with Buddha. And.....everyone got along.
A real shitty experience happened on the city bus in Penang. Caden was sitting on my lap to make room for a guy next to me and the fucker stole my wallet! Classic pickpocket move.... a little distraction when he started looking for his ticket and before I knew it he was gone with my wallet.....taken out of my backpack under my arm. Bastard! On the bright side, the hardest thing to replace is the drivers licenses. It sucks because we cannot plan our trip to Australia for summer because of the fact we cannot rent a car.
On the way home, Air Asia was, once again, a pain in the ass. Damn...low-cost airlines. They suck you in with cheap tickets and then deliver....well.....cheap service. What the hell?
I learned that the reason why the Buses that we take to school (KOPAJAS) have no doors is that they have the exhaust empty into the bus. It's more of a safety measure to ensure we all have clean air to breath. Logical. I must remember that when I am riding to school with my ass and backpack hanging out of the door. Or when the bus is arguably full and four more people get on. But, what do you expect for a quarter?
I must return to proofreading report cards. It is much easier to look outside, see the sun shining, hear birds singing and know that tomorrow and everyday after that will be the same. Much more difficult back home at the end of the school year when you just got out of a shitty cold winter.
Oh, by the way, does someone have a car I can buy for a dollar? Really, no joking. Marni and I have to get a car and insure it or we have to start again with expensive premiums.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Japan
Spring break, this year, Marni and I decided that we would take the kids off to Japan for a short break. At the beginning of the planning session it was proving to be very expensive. But, then we figured it would be the same to take a trip to Toronto or Victoria. The flights were about the same and hitting a Starbucks still costs you $20. So, what the hell. It's another stamp in the passport.
First off, I must recommend not flying an Indonesian Airline. Simply, Indonesians cannot line up. The velvet rope does not apply to them. We were the first loaded on the plane (because of the kids), the kids ate their meals early and we were offered more space when there were empty seats. Wow, an airline that has some common sense- something that clearly lacks, here.
Anyway, first stop- Tokyo. No vending machines filled with ladies panties (as I was told there were many) and a whole lot of drunk old men. Actually, a lot of drunk men in general. Apparently, we were in the nightclub district.
Thoughts on Tokyo: It is truly amazing how a city of 25 million people can have no crowds. We were expecting to be crowded on trains, buses and subways. Nothing. Apparently, with some planning and respectful citizens, things work! Jakarta take note. Another note, what the hell are the women wearing. There is a group that dress as cartoon characters, really. Little Bo Peep, school girls, etc. all walking around trying to be noticed. Rest of the women....dressed like hookers. Certainly adds to the sightseeing. In some areas it was like watching people that had dressed in the dark. Just put on whatever you have around and call it an outfit. Excuse me, Mr. Blackwell.
We went to many temples, shrines and museums. All were wonderful. Very.....Japanese. Everything you would expect in Japanese efficiency applies to their sightseeing. Get in. Follow the signs. Snap photos. Get the hell out.
We were, unfortunately about a week too early for cherry blossoms. Some trees were spectacular but there were only the odd few that were in full bloom. We were able to see some in Kyoto.
Off to Kyoto- sight of the Kyoto Accord on Climatge Change. Ironically, there are about 5 different subway lines that are all unrelated and add to the confusion of mass transit. But, a truly beautiful city, nonetheless. Many beautiful temples, castles and Marni was very happy to see Geishas walking the streets to celebrate the cherry blossoms.
Caden did approach a couple of Geisha's to ask for a photo. He mentioned that they made him nervous. Boompa explained that men typically get nervous around women.
Funny little story, we were out for dinner next to our hotel one night. After Marni had returned to the hotel with Zoe I asked for the bill. I then realized that she had my wallet. Luckily, the people at the table next to us (while eating thir freshly de-limbed live octopus) were able to explain that I would run next door and grab my wallet. However, the man did explain that they would probably not trust me to leave and return. So after leaving my son as collateral I was able to leave and return to pay the bill.
We then went to Osaka. Really, quite a nice city. Highlight of that trip was one of the world's largest aquariums. Probably more of a Denny's menu to the locals, though. There were signs explaining how many of the creatures are endangered or threatened surrounding the tanks. Then, they were on the menu for dinner. Caden's highlight was seeing the whale shark.
Overall, life is good. The trip was very nice. We were able to see some cherry blossoms, Mount Fuji and some very cool temples and castles.
First off, I must recommend not flying an Indonesian Airline. Simply, Indonesians cannot line up. The velvet rope does not apply to them. We were the first loaded on the plane (because of the kids), the kids ate their meals early and we were offered more space when there were empty seats. Wow, an airline that has some common sense- something that clearly lacks, here.
Anyway, first stop- Tokyo. No vending machines filled with ladies panties (as I was told there were many) and a whole lot of drunk old men. Actually, a lot of drunk men in general. Apparently, we were in the nightclub district.
Thoughts on Tokyo: It is truly amazing how a city of 25 million people can have no crowds. We were expecting to be crowded on trains, buses and subways. Nothing. Apparently, with some planning and respectful citizens, things work! Jakarta take note. Another note, what the hell are the women wearing. There is a group that dress as cartoon characters, really. Little Bo Peep, school girls, etc. all walking around trying to be noticed. Rest of the women....dressed like hookers. Certainly adds to the sightseeing. In some areas it was like watching people that had dressed in the dark. Just put on whatever you have around and call it an outfit. Excuse me, Mr. Blackwell.
We went to many temples, shrines and museums. All were wonderful. Very.....Japanese. Everything you would expect in Japanese efficiency applies to their sightseeing. Get in. Follow the signs. Snap photos. Get the hell out.
We were, unfortunately about a week too early for cherry blossoms. Some trees were spectacular but there were only the odd few that were in full bloom. We were able to see some in Kyoto.
Off to Kyoto- sight of the Kyoto Accord on Climatge Change. Ironically, there are about 5 different subway lines that are all unrelated and add to the confusion of mass transit. But, a truly beautiful city, nonetheless. Many beautiful temples, castles and Marni was very happy to see Geishas walking the streets to celebrate the cherry blossoms.
Caden did approach a couple of Geisha's to ask for a photo. He mentioned that they made him nervous. Boompa explained that men typically get nervous around women.
Funny little story, we were out for dinner next to our hotel one night. After Marni had returned to the hotel with Zoe I asked for the bill. I then realized that she had my wallet. Luckily, the people at the table next to us (while eating thir freshly de-limbed live octopus) were able to explain that I would run next door and grab my wallet. However, the man did explain that they would probably not trust me to leave and return. So after leaving my son as collateral I was able to leave and return to pay the bill.
We then went to Osaka. Really, quite a nice city. Highlight of that trip was one of the world's largest aquariums. Probably more of a Denny's menu to the locals, though. There were signs explaining how many of the creatures are endangered or threatened surrounding the tanks. Then, they were on the menu for dinner. Caden's highlight was seeing the whale shark.
Overall, life is good. The trip was very nice. We were able to see some cherry blossoms, Mount Fuji and some very cool temples and castles.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Renovations
I understand why I am writing these so infrequently. I am so used to the amount of insanity that surrounds me in this country that I forget to write it down.
Our school has been building a beautiful addition to the property. It is a four story secondary and administration building. The project has been going since last July. Actually, with people that use very little in terms of modern tools, the building is stunning and was erected very quickly. Yes, yes I did just use the word erected.
Here are a few issues we have had to deal with:
Firstly, the building was supposed to be done over Xmas holidays. Considering the size of the project that does not surprise me that they were late. Even now that the building is 99% complete and teachers have moved in we are still waiting for the power company to hook things up. It turns out that they need to shut the power down to the entire neighbourhood to hook up our power. But, when talking to others, the only time the power company needs to do that is if they are upgrading the entire system to the entire neighbourhood. Turns out, they are trying to make our school pay for upgrades they need to make anyway. What?! Corruption in this country?! No! (insert sarcasm, here) So, as of yesterday, the school does not have enough electricity to power the whole school. My A/C crapped out over lunch and my room was a sauna for the afternoon. In fact, even Zoe wouldn't come in because she said it smelled like sweat.
We have wheelchair accessability, now. Unfortunately, when they connected the new buiding to the old one they did not measure the height differences. So, our wheelchair ramp comes with a 1.5 metre drop off at the end. But, just to keep everyone feeling equal, the stairs have the same drop off. Look on the bright side, we are the first school with cross-country running facilities on campus.
Because we have been building so many different buildings on the campus, we have been subjected to constant flooding. Classrooms, cafeterias, assembly halls have all been washed out with the rains. In fact, the temporary wall in our assembly hall has almost rotted through.
To bring up the safety regulations in the new building, we have installed a fire extinguishing system. Brilliantly, they designed a pump that would use the pool water in case of any fire emergency. Not a bad idea considering traffic and fire-fighting facilities in Jakarta. Anyway, there are these enormous pipes that run down the side of the property, hanging from the cement walls that divide up the properties. As well, the pipes begin in the shallow end of the swimming pool. However, I don't think the designers understand how much water weighs. It is clear to me that if they fill those pipes with water they will tear off the wall and bend. But, what do I know?
Also, because the pipes begin in the shallow end of the pool there is no way they have access to all of the water in the pool. Hopefully, if there is a fire, it is a small one. Also, hope there are no small children in the pool so they don't get sucked into the pipes.
We had a worker cut himself on a piece of broken glass recently. Our Principal got him all fixed up and the bleeding stopped. He then proceeded to go and pick up more glass and almost cut his thumb off. I am unsure if he went back to work after that incident.
Our school has been building a beautiful addition to the property. It is a four story secondary and administration building. The project has been going since last July. Actually, with people that use very little in terms of modern tools, the building is stunning and was erected very quickly. Yes, yes I did just use the word erected.
Here are a few issues we have had to deal with:
Firstly, the building was supposed to be done over Xmas holidays. Considering the size of the project that does not surprise me that they were late. Even now that the building is 99% complete and teachers have moved in we are still waiting for the power company to hook things up. It turns out that they need to shut the power down to the entire neighbourhood to hook up our power. But, when talking to others, the only time the power company needs to do that is if they are upgrading the entire system to the entire neighbourhood. Turns out, they are trying to make our school pay for upgrades they need to make anyway. What?! Corruption in this country?! No! (insert sarcasm, here) So, as of yesterday, the school does not have enough electricity to power the whole school. My A/C crapped out over lunch and my room was a sauna for the afternoon. In fact, even Zoe wouldn't come in because she said it smelled like sweat.
We have wheelchair accessability, now. Unfortunately, when they connected the new buiding to the old one they did not measure the height differences. So, our wheelchair ramp comes with a 1.5 metre drop off at the end. But, just to keep everyone feeling equal, the stairs have the same drop off. Look on the bright side, we are the first school with cross-country running facilities on campus.
Because we have been building so many different buildings on the campus, we have been subjected to constant flooding. Classrooms, cafeterias, assembly halls have all been washed out with the rains. In fact, the temporary wall in our assembly hall has almost rotted through.
To bring up the safety regulations in the new building, we have installed a fire extinguishing system. Brilliantly, they designed a pump that would use the pool water in case of any fire emergency. Not a bad idea considering traffic and fire-fighting facilities in Jakarta. Anyway, there are these enormous pipes that run down the side of the property, hanging from the cement walls that divide up the properties. As well, the pipes begin in the shallow end of the swimming pool. However, I don't think the designers understand how much water weighs. It is clear to me that if they fill those pipes with water they will tear off the wall and bend. But, what do I know?
Also, because the pipes begin in the shallow end of the pool there is no way they have access to all of the water in the pool. Hopefully, if there is a fire, it is a small one. Also, hope there are no small children in the pool so they don't get sucked into the pipes.
We had a worker cut himself on a piece of broken glass recently. Our Principal got him all fixed up and the bleeding stopped. He then proceeded to go and pick up more glass and almost cut his thumb off. I am unsure if he went back to work after that incident.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Another long time
Once again time has escaped me and I have been ignoring my duty to keep you all informed of our life over here. Several wonderful developments have happened recently.
We have officially passed our half-way point of being here. At this time next year we will be preparing for our triumphant return home. Then we will have to spend a tremendous amount of money to buy all the things that we sold off before leaving. Entire wardrobes will need to be purchased as both Marni and I are about svelte and buff and the kids are about eight inches taller then when we left.
Caden cut his head for about 20 stitches some time ago. He fell in the playground and cut himself so deep that the doctor said he was close to reaching skull. This being the second set of stitches received by a Kindy made one think that possibly there was some areas in the playground that weren't safe. Caden has been much happier, though as now that several new students have arrived in his class that have so many problems he has gone from being 'Public Enemy #1' to 'Normal four-year old boy'. He has been surrounded by 'The Screamer', 'The Prince', two Arab 'Escape Artists' and 'The Shitter'. From the sounds of it, he was normal all along.
The rainy season has been just that. There are some interesting little diseases that creep up in a school as the little bugs get to incubate. We have a couple of cases of 'Hand, foot and mouth', 'Dengue', 'Typhoid', 'Lice' and any range of flu coughs. I have recently learned that Indonesians don't get 'colds'. They get 'fevers'. Why would they get a cold?
Caden had a play date, today. I was surprised to see the little boy's Nanny in Caden's room as I got out of bed wearing my t-shirt and underwear. I am certain she was surprised, too. Apparently, the little boy goes nowhere without his nanny. It was strange to have her hang around and play with the boys. It was also strange to see the boy wait at the bottom of the stairs so she could pick him up because he 'couldn't or wouldn't do it himself. But, I guess he is only four. What do I expect? Realize, this is a boy from Caden's school who Marni and I see everyday. It is not like we are strangers.
Some interesting developments with labour laws in Indonesia. Apparently, the rules are changing regarding how many Indonesians should be employed by a school. What tends to happen- and it is fair- is that for every expat employed, they want to have an Indonesian 'shadow' to learn the ropes. Our school does an excellent job doing that however, some of the larger schools do not employ a lot of Indos. Unfortunately, the Principal of the school needs to hold a Master's degree. Fine, except for the fact that our Principal holds every other credential equivalent to a Master's- except for a Master's. What I have suggested is that Marni or I get to be the Principal and Chris gets to be a 'Consultant'. Maybe we can pad our resume a bit more. We will see how that all plays out. Regulations get changed like underwear around here.
We have officially passed our half-way point of being here. At this time next year we will be preparing for our triumphant return home. Then we will have to spend a tremendous amount of money to buy all the things that we sold off before leaving. Entire wardrobes will need to be purchased as both Marni and I are about svelte and buff and the kids are about eight inches taller then when we left.
Caden cut his head for about 20 stitches some time ago. He fell in the playground and cut himself so deep that the doctor said he was close to reaching skull. This being the second set of stitches received by a Kindy made one think that possibly there was some areas in the playground that weren't safe. Caden has been much happier, though as now that several new students have arrived in his class that have so many problems he has gone from being 'Public Enemy #1' to 'Normal four-year old boy'. He has been surrounded by 'The Screamer', 'The Prince', two Arab 'Escape Artists' and 'The Shitter'. From the sounds of it, he was normal all along.
The rainy season has been just that. There are some interesting little diseases that creep up in a school as the little bugs get to incubate. We have a couple of cases of 'Hand, foot and mouth', 'Dengue', 'Typhoid', 'Lice' and any range of flu coughs. I have recently learned that Indonesians don't get 'colds'. They get 'fevers'. Why would they get a cold?
Caden had a play date, today. I was surprised to see the little boy's Nanny in Caden's room as I got out of bed wearing my t-shirt and underwear. I am certain she was surprised, too. Apparently, the little boy goes nowhere without his nanny. It was strange to have her hang around and play with the boys. It was also strange to see the boy wait at the bottom of the stairs so she could pick him up because he 'couldn't or wouldn't do it himself. But, I guess he is only four. What do I expect? Realize, this is a boy from Caden's school who Marni and I see everyday. It is not like we are strangers.
Some interesting developments with labour laws in Indonesia. Apparently, the rules are changing regarding how many Indonesians should be employed by a school. What tends to happen- and it is fair- is that for every expat employed, they want to have an Indonesian 'shadow' to learn the ropes. Our school does an excellent job doing that however, some of the larger schools do not employ a lot of Indos. Unfortunately, the Principal of the school needs to hold a Master's degree. Fine, except for the fact that our Principal holds every other credential equivalent to a Master's- except for a Master's. What I have suggested is that Marni or I get to be the Principal and Chris gets to be a 'Consultant'. Maybe we can pad our resume a bit more. We will see how that all plays out. Regulations get changed like underwear around here.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
A long time
It has been a terribly long time since I have been in touch with many of you. Many things have happened.
Mom and Dad had a great time in Bali. Y'know, being paradise and all......just friggin' wonderful.
Off Mom, Dad and I went to Jogjakarta. What is there, you ask? Just a couple temples. One of them being the largest Buddhist temple in the world. Looks like a big pile of stones, actually. Mom did a great job in the heat and climbed to the top with her bionic knees. Kudos to you, old lady. Dad's own Buddha was highly regarded by the locals.....sort of a trend that followed him through Asia, actually. In Canada, not so attractive. But here, get your groove on, Old Man!
Dad established himself as one hell of a bargain finder. The guy was buying the biggest pieces of shit for the lowest possible price. In fact, one local lady said to our driver that he was tough for a Bule. I am certain she only made 40% profit on that transaction. A toothless grin all the way to the closest Nasi Goreng kaki lima.
At this point I don't think mom had the shits!
Christmas was great! After opening all of his presents Caden complained that he did not get enough. Santa is such an asshole!
Vic and Kathleen arrived on the 27th and we had some great visits. Many bottles of wine, macaroni and Cheerios were had by all.
Off to Vietnam we went! First stop, Ho Chi Mihn City (or Saigon to you non-communists).
Wonderful city. I highly recommend it. Stuff is CHEAP! T-shirts for $3. Dry-fit Adidas for $5. After bragging about the 'smokin' deal he got on a North Face backpack, Dad realized he paid a whopping 90 cents more then me.....at a place where there was no haggling. Great job, Buddy!
Sales pitch of the trip has to go to some little hussy that asked Vic what he was looking for. Vic replied "Nothing". She then grabs him by the arm, pulls him into her shop and says "I'll show you nothing!". I don't recall if be bought 'nothing'.
I still don't think mom had the shits, yet. But she sure was cringing whenever we ate.
One of the things I realized......We buy too much crap! When we buy crap, there is just another truckload of it to buy, again. Somebody has to make this crap and from what I have experienced in Asia- the people making our crap don't have a great life because of it! Don't think we are making life wonderful for them by giving them jobs. They are better off without us needing trinkets, do-dads and wingdings.
Unfortunately, I like trinkets, do-dads and wingdings. Now I just feel bad about it.
New Years Eve in Saigon was very cool. Marni and I went for a walk around the main public park that was filled with food stalls, live bands and hundreds of thousands of people. I was asked if I wanted a little 'Boom boom'....and not by Marni. I have seen enough Vietnam movies to understand what that meant.
We then went to the Mekong Delta. Some of the most fertile lands in Asia. People lived, more or less, on the river as its many tributaries act as roadways. We went to the floating market where all the boats, loaded with goods, just sit on the water. You float up, get what you need and head out. Seeing the beer boat reassured me we were no longer in a Muslim country.
Off to Da Nang and a little city called Hoian. You would know the name Da Nang from many Vietnam movies from back in the day. In contrary to movie culture, the Americans did not win and frankly, didn't have a hope in winning. Da Nang was a beautiful area that I hope we have a chance to return to. Beaches, history (both recent and ancient), cheap stuff and good food.
Mom probably had the shits, here.
Up to Hanoi for another couple of days. We didn't spend too much time as we were off to the Hai Long Bay. This bay is a World Heritage site and is what you would expect in an Asian painting. I could not describe what it looked like.
We spent two night on a Junk that fed us very well. Unfortunately, it was about 10 degree. The first time I have been cold since leaving Canada. In fact, one day it was warmer in Calgary then on the Bay. We were able to do things such as eat dinner in a cave, go kayaking through other caves and rock formations and eat the freshest fish you could ever imagine. One of the highlights for me was visiting a remote fishing village that is pretty much self-sufficient. They are getting some help from the boat companies but they have schools, little shops and they get a fair price for their fish. Interestingly, there were many dogs. Not for food (I know what your thinking).
Mom definitely had the shits, here.
We spent another lovely night in Hanoi. We went for 'Local' food and a little hole in the wall place. Think of the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. Literally, that is what it was. No questions about what you want- everybody gets beef. What size? Medium. Price? Yes. Great noodles, though. Mom soldiered through it. Nobody got sick from the food.
Mom and Dad had a great time in Bali. Y'know, being paradise and all......just friggin' wonderful.
Off Mom, Dad and I went to Jogjakarta. What is there, you ask? Just a couple temples. One of them being the largest Buddhist temple in the world. Looks like a big pile of stones, actually. Mom did a great job in the heat and climbed to the top with her bionic knees. Kudos to you, old lady. Dad's own Buddha was highly regarded by the locals.....sort of a trend that followed him through Asia, actually. In Canada, not so attractive. But here, get your groove on, Old Man!
Dad established himself as one hell of a bargain finder. The guy was buying the biggest pieces of shit for the lowest possible price. In fact, one local lady said to our driver that he was tough for a Bule. I am certain she only made 40% profit on that transaction. A toothless grin all the way to the closest Nasi Goreng kaki lima.
At this point I don't think mom had the shits!
Christmas was great! After opening all of his presents Caden complained that he did not get enough. Santa is such an asshole!
Vic and Kathleen arrived on the 27th and we had some great visits. Many bottles of wine, macaroni and Cheerios were had by all.
Off to Vietnam we went! First stop, Ho Chi Mihn City (or Saigon to you non-communists).
Wonderful city. I highly recommend it. Stuff is CHEAP! T-shirts for $3. Dry-fit Adidas for $5. After bragging about the 'smokin' deal he got on a North Face backpack, Dad realized he paid a whopping 90 cents more then me.....at a place where there was no haggling. Great job, Buddy!
Sales pitch of the trip has to go to some little hussy that asked Vic what he was looking for. Vic replied "Nothing". She then grabs him by the arm, pulls him into her shop and says "I'll show you nothing!". I don't recall if be bought 'nothing'.
I still don't think mom had the shits, yet. But she sure was cringing whenever we ate.
One of the things I realized......We buy too much crap! When we buy crap, there is just another truckload of it to buy, again. Somebody has to make this crap and from what I have experienced in Asia- the people making our crap don't have a great life because of it! Don't think we are making life wonderful for them by giving them jobs. They are better off without us needing trinkets, do-dads and wingdings.
Unfortunately, I like trinkets, do-dads and wingdings. Now I just feel bad about it.
New Years Eve in Saigon was very cool. Marni and I went for a walk around the main public park that was filled with food stalls, live bands and hundreds of thousands of people. I was asked if I wanted a little 'Boom boom'....and not by Marni. I have seen enough Vietnam movies to understand what that meant.
We then went to the Mekong Delta. Some of the most fertile lands in Asia. People lived, more or less, on the river as its many tributaries act as roadways. We went to the floating market where all the boats, loaded with goods, just sit on the water. You float up, get what you need and head out. Seeing the beer boat reassured me we were no longer in a Muslim country.
Off to Da Nang and a little city called Hoian. You would know the name Da Nang from many Vietnam movies from back in the day. In contrary to movie culture, the Americans did not win and frankly, didn't have a hope in winning. Da Nang was a beautiful area that I hope we have a chance to return to. Beaches, history (both recent and ancient), cheap stuff and good food.
Mom probably had the shits, here.
Up to Hanoi for another couple of days. We didn't spend too much time as we were off to the Hai Long Bay. This bay is a World Heritage site and is what you would expect in an Asian painting. I could not describe what it looked like.
We spent two night on a Junk that fed us very well. Unfortunately, it was about 10 degree. The first time I have been cold since leaving Canada. In fact, one day it was warmer in Calgary then on the Bay. We were able to do things such as eat dinner in a cave, go kayaking through other caves and rock formations and eat the freshest fish you could ever imagine. One of the highlights for me was visiting a remote fishing village that is pretty much self-sufficient. They are getting some help from the boat companies but they have schools, little shops and they get a fair price for their fish. Interestingly, there were many dogs. Not for food (I know what your thinking).
Mom definitely had the shits, here.
We spent another lovely night in Hanoi. We went for 'Local' food and a little hole in the wall place. Think of the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. Literally, that is what it was. No questions about what you want- everybody gets beef. What size? Medium. Price? Yes. Great noodles, though. Mom soldiered through it. Nobody got sick from the food.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Are you f@&$ing serious?
Christmas holidays are here. Mom and Dad showed up unscathed. All seems great.
Let me tell you about our trip to Bali.
First, web check in. Sounds wonderful. New addition to AirAsia.
Call cab to pick us up at 8:00.
8:30 family is walking across the street to catch a cab because said cab has not shown up. "sorry, Meester" .
10:25- arrive at airport for 10:35 flight to Bali. Told because I had used the web check in I would have to purchase six new tickets. 10:26- security arrives after I slammed my hands on the counter telling the attendant that the plane would take off late because no AirAsia flight has ever taken off on time. After being told that they had closed the gate and we could not get on, my blood pressure rises some more. Mental note and real pisser- the plane did not take off until 10:52.... So, it was late.
After only paying a service fee, we were able to get new tickets on the 1:45 flight out. Good news.
Bad news....that plane was 50 minutes late for arrival. Take off time...3:00.
So, we wasted half a day in Bali. How was I supposed to add to my collection of carved, wooden dick bottle openers?
Had a great time in Bali with the folks.
Going to Jogjakarta with mom and dad.
6:00am flight. Need to leave hotel at 4:00 am. Up at three, have a driver already lined up. The same driver who we had used for the previous three days.
4:00- phone driver to check if he is on his way.
4:15- get in touch with driver who was still sleeping. He says he is half an hour away.
4:23- driver picks us up.
4:24- wonder how much gas is in his tank when the little 'need gas' light comes on. Also wonder if gas stations are open at this early hour. Also wonder why a person who has no gas does not fill up tank the night before. Also wonder why I am being so calm......ahhh....memories of security. Catch more flies with honey. But shit works well, too.
4:45- mom has covered her eyes because she cannot believe how driver is driving. Welcome to Indonesia, mom!
4:55- getting gas. Still need to make the plane.
After almost losing control while hydro planing, driver says we are five minutes away from airport. I tell him it would be a shame to die so close to destination and he slowed down. You're welcome, mom.
5:20- arrive at airport. Unfortunately, there was some construction and I think there was a 20min. Walk to the front gates.
5:30- in line for tickets
Plane takes off ten minutes late.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Don't ask 'Why?'.
Marni and I went out on our date-night, last night. A great little Turkish place up the road. Actual, Turkish...not a doner kebab! Anyway, a nice couple sat down beside us and we got to talking. Turns out, the man was a Principal at a local, Indonesian public school. To make things better, he was Canadian! From BC, mind you, but still Canadian.
He was soon to return to Canada to do some recruiting and he asked Marni and I what he should include in a presentation about teaching in Jakarta. Our answer, "Don't ask why anything is the way it is." That question could drive you crazy.
A couple examples, recently. The manpower department has recently decided that they need to have all of our teachers university transcripts in order to renew their work permits. It doesn't matter that all of these teachers have already received work permits and are simply renewing them. They had been approved in the past, but now they government does not believe itself. That may seem easy to overcome, except our Principal has been teaching for 30 years and her college doesn't exist anymore.
Another teacher had taken a number of history modules in her last year of University. The module names: Sorcery and Witchcraft, Hollywood, just to name a few. It may be tough to sell yourself as a teacher when those are the modules the Indonesian government will see. One of the other wonderful things is that all the transcripts needed to be translated into Indonesian. I am certain that will happen smoothly.
Another thing we find around here is the number of restaurants that are out of food. Why? Don't ask. KFC with no chicken, McDonalds with no hamburgers, Bars with no beer. There is a restaurant across the street that has many liquor bottles along their bar. They are all empty. You ask for Scotch- none, wine- not today, Meester. But, decorations....they have many.
We have no gym equipment at our school. Over the last few years much of it has been stolen, kicked over the fence, etc. We were to make a large order from a company in Australia. One of our Indonesian teachers mentioned to me that we could simply get that stuff locally. When I asked "Why don't we go and buy some equipment, then?" I received the standard 'deer in headlights' look. Silly me for asking why.
Looking at this topic I guess many questions have simple answers:
Why do the buses not have doors? Duh, to get in and out while the bus is still moving.
Regardless of whose fault a car accident is, why does the car owner always pay for the scooter driver? Duh, because the car is bigger. You should have known the scooter would run into your back bumper.
Why are there stoplights? That is a good question. Apparently, 98% of Indonesians are colourblind, anyway.
Why is there a Saskatchewan Roughriders Jersey in the outlet store across the street? Because no one at home will buy it.
Why is that man strapped to a palm tree? How else would he get it home on his scooter.
He was soon to return to Canada to do some recruiting and he asked Marni and I what he should include in a presentation about teaching in Jakarta. Our answer, "Don't ask why anything is the way it is." That question could drive you crazy.
A couple examples, recently. The manpower department has recently decided that they need to have all of our teachers university transcripts in order to renew their work permits. It doesn't matter that all of these teachers have already received work permits and are simply renewing them. They had been approved in the past, but now they government does not believe itself. That may seem easy to overcome, except our Principal has been teaching for 30 years and her college doesn't exist anymore.
Another teacher had taken a number of history modules in her last year of University. The module names: Sorcery and Witchcraft, Hollywood, just to name a few. It may be tough to sell yourself as a teacher when those are the modules the Indonesian government will see. One of the other wonderful things is that all the transcripts needed to be translated into Indonesian. I am certain that will happen smoothly
Another thing we find around here is the number of restaurants that are out of food. Why? Don't ask. KFC with no chicken, McDonalds with no hamburgers, Bars with no beer. There is a restaurant across the street that has many liquor bottles along their bar. They are all empty. You ask for Scotch- none, wine- not today, Meester. But, decorations....they have many.
We have no gym equipment at our school. Over the last few years much of it has been stolen, kicked over the fence, etc. We were to make a large order from a company in Australia. One of our Indonesian teachers mentioned to me that we could simply get that stuff locally. When I asked "Why don't we go and buy some equipment, then?" I received the standard 'deer in headlights' look. Silly me for asking why.
Looking at this topic I guess many questions have simple answers:
Why do the buses not have doors? Duh, to get in and out while the bus is still moving.
Regardless of whose fault a car accident is, why does the car owner always pay for the scooter driver? Duh, because the car is bigger. You should have known the scooter would run into your back bumper.
Why are there stoplights? That is a good question. Apparently, 98% of Indonesians are colourblind, anyway.
Why is there a Saskatchewan Roughriders Jersey in the outlet store across the street? Because no one at home will buy it.
Why is that man strapped to a palm tree? How else would he get it home on his scooter.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Indonesian principles
The family and I have been here for over a year, now and we are becoming more and more Indonesian. We are in process of learning the language and have started to wear jackets when the temperature plummets under 28 degrees.
With the start of the xmas season I thought I would share a few traditions that we will be bringing home with us.
Camels- Christmas needs less Christ and more camels.
The kids had joined us in slowly walking from one escalator in the mall to the other in a strategically staggered fashion. We walk slow enough that you cannot possibly pass us before the next escalator. We think that it develops patience.
Also dealing with escalators, the malls here are so large that you must gaze at the marvels surrounding you....at the top of the escalator. That way, too, everyone else behind us can enjoy the same splendor we do. One must really stop and smell the roses more often. So why not do it while your toes are being smashed into the person in front of you and getting felt up from behind?
We will start giving everybody driving instructions. Our lives in the west are so regimented rules and protocol that driving should make a person feel free. So go where you want, when you want at whatever speed you want. That said though, I have not been in a car in Jakarta that has gone 50km/h. Realize too, honking your horn has many meanings from "stop" to "go" to "get the hell out of my way" to "please, feel free to cross in front of me, it is safe". Marni and I will brief you on the differences.
We will make sure that visible minorities do not feel segregated. When see them will yell, hoot, point and take pictures of them. What better way could there be to make them feel like one of us?In fact, why wait? When you see Africans, touch there heads, Asians, make funny eye shapes and yell at them. Let them know that they are different and you love that about them. Spread the love, people, it's almost Christmas!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Jakarta Petting Zoo
Another 'Killing an Animal' Holiday is upon us. Marni and I noticed, last week, the number of local petting zoos were springing up all over. This morning, many of them are empty. Hmmm??
Yesterday, there were some locals 'recycling' in our compound. Recycling here consists of throwing all of your shit away and someone with a pull cart comes around and pick through all the good stuff. However, good stuff here is relative. These people probably live on less than a dollar a day. AND....they have a smile on their face. Truly fascinating.
Anyway, with our local recyclers were two goats. Poor little things had know idea what was about to happen to them. I asked the men if I could take some picture (I am learning more Indonesian so I tried it on them...."Boleh, kana saya picture, anda?" "Hell ya, Misterrrr!" they answered. Then they scurried around to look busy. Actually, I just wanted a picture of the goats.
When I pointed to the goats (who happened to be chewing on a burger wrapper that I probably threw out) and made the classic 'knife across the throat' gesture, they all smiled and said "Yessss". The one man then gave his goat a little rub behind the ears. That may have been to tenderize it, too. I am not sure if ears are good eating. In Asia, though.....it's all good. Today we saw many of the staff members sorting out piles of meat into plastic bags. One can only assume it was our two little goats from the night before.
Anyway, to put this in perspective for you. Do you remember in "The Godfather" when the one character wakes up next to the horse head? Well, we saw the guy who actually places the horse head on his pillow, today. He had a wonderfully crocheted bag filled with the head of a cow....on his scooter. Just so nonchalont about it. Why wouldn't you be carrying the head of another mammal around?
Yesterday, there were some locals 'recycling' in our compound. Recycling here consists of throwing all of your shit away and someone with a pull cart comes around and pick through all the good stuff. However, good stuff here is relative. These people probably live on less than a dollar a day. AND....they have a smile on their face. Truly fascinating.
Anyway, with our local recyclers were two goats. Poor little things had know idea what was about to happen to them. I asked the men if I could take some picture (I am learning more Indonesian so I tried it on them...."Boleh, kana saya picture, anda?" "Hell ya, Misterrrr!" they answered. Then they scurried around to look busy. Actually, I just wanted a picture of the goats.
When I pointed to the goats (who happened to be chewing on a burger wrapper that I probably threw out) and made the classic 'knife across the throat' gesture, they all smiled and said "Yessss". The one man then gave his goat a little rub behind the ears. That may have been to tenderize it, too. I am not sure if ears are good eating. In Asia, though.....it's all good. Today we saw many of the staff members sorting out piles of meat into plastic bags. One can only assume it was our two little goats from the night before.
Anyway, to put this in perspective for you. Do you remember in "The Godfather" when the one character wakes up next to the horse head? Well, we saw the guy who actually places the horse head on his pillow, today. He had a wonderfully crocheted bag filled with the head of a cow....on his scooter. Just so nonchalont about it. Why wouldn't you be carrying the head of another mammal around?
Monday, October 31, 2011
Trunk or treating
Sorry, Mr. Bruce. Something happened with the loading of this and I know you are sad and disappointed with the lack off the post. Those words alone probably do not describe your feelings, though.
We had interesting Halloween, in Jakarta. First off, Indonesians are very skiddish about ghosts and spirits. They do take Halloween seriously and many do not participate. However, being at in international school we like to celebrate all cultures...and sell beer in the process.
Our parents group set up a family dance in our undercover area. It is like a steel shed without the sides. Like where cows would be kept. They decorate it all up to be spooky and play 'Thriller' about eight times in three hours.
But, because it is Jakarta and getting together in family groups is difficult, over 350 people showed up. It was wonderful.
Costume of the night has to be a little boy dressed as a knight. He says to a friend that he is an "invincible knight". I questioned his credibility when I noticed his nanny was carrying the sword. Sort of took away some of his toughness, I thought.
Some glaring differences, though. Instead of going from house to house (security would not let you through the gate) for candy, the parents set up their cars and vans so the kids can go from vehicle to vehicle. Hence the 'trunk or treat'. The drivers happily hand out candy to the kids and then probably go to the school musholla and pray that the spirits will not suck out their soul.
Secondly, instead of worrying about the snow and ice, we have to worry about the deluge that can strike at anytime. Of course, it did, too. Luckily, we could all fit in the covered area and neighbouring classrooms. This is not your average thunderstorm. You have never heard thunderstorms like you would, here. It is insane. The rain is also the most intense rain you have ever seen. But, within an hour after stopping, everything is dry and ready to go.
Some prizes won by the family, Caden with best lower primary dancer. The kid can shake it! Marni and I won two bottles of vino for best teacher dance. Apparently, Brits and Aussie's have now idea how to jive. When they asked how we knew how to do that I had to explain that we all know. It's part being Canadian....like eating timbits. Then I had to explain timbits. When I explained that we used timbits to hunt moose, they were really confused.
We had interesting Halloween, in Jakarta. First off, Indonesians are very skiddish about ghosts and spirits. They do take Halloween seriously and many do not participate. However, being at in international school we like to celebrate all cultures...and sell beer in the process.
Our parents group set up a family dance in our undercover area. It is like a steel shed without the sides. Like where cows would be kept. They decorate it all up to be spooky and play 'Thriller' about eight times in three hours.
But, because it is Jakarta and getting together in family groups is difficult, over 350 people showed up. It was wonderful.
Costume of the night has to be a little boy dressed as a knight. He says to a friend that he is an "invincible knight". I questioned his credibility when I noticed his nanny was carrying the sword. Sort of took away some of his toughness, I thought.
Some glaring differences, though. Instead of going from house to house (security would not let you through the gate) for candy, the parents set up their cars and vans so the kids can go from vehicle to vehicle. Hence the 'trunk or treat'. The drivers happily hand out candy to the kids and then probably go to the school musholla and pray that the spirits will not suck out their soul.
Secondly, instead of worrying about the snow and ice, we have to worry about the deluge that can strike at anytime. Of course, it did, too. Luckily, we could all fit in the covered area and neighbouring classrooms. This is not your average thunderstorm. You have never heard thunderstorms like you would, here. It is insane. The rain is also the most intense rain you have ever seen. But, within an hour after stopping, everything is dry and ready to go.
Some prizes won by the family, Caden with best lower primary dancer. The kid can shake it! Marni and I won two bottles of vino for best teacher dance. Apparently, Brits and Aussie's have now idea how to jive. When they asked how we knew how to do that I had to explain that we all know. It's part being Canadian....like eating timbits. Then I had to explain timbits. When I explained that we used timbits to hunt moose, they were really confused.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Krakatau
I will write this now since it has already happened and Mom can't be freaking out. We decided that for some silly reason we would go camping. That was great- a chance to roast some imported marshmallows from Singapore, drink some warm Bintang beer by a fire and get eaten alive by mosquitoes. So, where will one do this? At the bottom of a volcano... that is active... and experiencing tremors...and currently smoking and spewing boulders!
Ah yes, my friends. Just a short boat ride from a nearby coastal town will get you at the base of a volcano known around the world because of the largest recorded eruption known to mankind. Allegedly so loud that it was heard in Australia, nearly 4000km away. Krakatoa was actually three volcanoes that were connected as one large island. But, in 1883, blew the shit out of two and a half of them. Krakatoa is dormant and only half of it is left. Wuss!
But, in the place of one of the previous volcanoes lies 'Anak Krakatau' (Son of Krakatoa and Caden's new nickname) which, only last week, was banned from public visits due to its nasty demeanor. In 1927, this Anak Krakatau grew from the ocean and is now a popular tourist attraction..... yay, for us!
Beautiful black sand beaches. White sand is for beotches! Black sand is way nicer. Decent coral reefs and enough pumis stone even Marni can have soft feet. And.....no mosquitoes! We were able to climb a significant way up the slope to the crater. The tour guide telling us when some of the most recent explosions had happened (last Tuesday being mentioned). As well, the same day as the earthquake in Bali, there were eight or nine tremors on the island. Bali gets all the fun stuff.
One nice thing when we camped is that we were joined by a group of French tourists that were on a tour of different volcanoes in the region. We all felt much safer because, as history has shown, any time there is an explosion or projectiles falling from the sky, the French are the first to leave.
Ah yes, my friends. Just a short boat ride from a nearby coastal town will get you at the base of a volcano known around the world because of the largest recorded eruption known to mankind. Allegedly so loud that it was heard in Australia, nearly 4000km away. Krakatoa was actually three volcanoes that were connected as one large island. But, in 1883, blew the shit out of two and a half of them. Krakatoa is dormant and only half of it is left. Wuss!
But, in the place of one of the previous volcanoes lies 'Anak Krakatau' (Son of Krakatoa and Caden's new nickname) which, only last week, was banned from public visits due to its nasty demeanor. In 1927, this Anak Krakatau grew from the ocean and is now a popular tourist attraction..... yay, for us!
Beautiful black sand beaches. White sand is for beotches! Black sand is way nicer. Decent coral reefs and enough pumis stone even Marni can have soft feet. And.....no mosquitoes! We were able to climb a significant way up the slope to the crater. The tour guide telling us when some of the most recent explosions had happened (last Tuesday being mentioned). As well, the same day as the earthquake in Bali, there were eight or nine tremors on the island. Bali gets all the fun stuff.
One nice thing when we camped is that we were joined by a group of French tourists that were on a tour of different volcanoes in the region. We all felt much safer because, as history has shown, any time there is an explosion or projectiles falling from the sky, the French are the first to leave.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Living in Jakarta too long.
One of my friends posted this in Facebook. I thought I would share some of the
- When after every sentence you say ... Iyaaahh!
- You too believe traffic lanes, stop signs and one way streets are mere suggestions and that sidewalks were meant to drive on or they wouldn't have paved them.
- You can drive 60 km/h two inches from cars on either side of you, but cannot back into a parking space in an empty lot without two guys yelling “Kiri…Kiri Terus, Terus, Terus…”
- You can kill cockroaches with your bare feet
- The footprints on the toilet seat are your own
- You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of the queue
- You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day
- You habitually punch all the buttons as you leave the lift
- It has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anybody else can get off
- You're willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to within a kilometer of at home
- It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting
- You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply “up to you mister”
- You no longer wonder how someone making US$200 per month can drive a Mercedes
- You accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number for the next queue
- You have considered buying a motorcycle for the next family car
- You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while the plane is on final approach
- You think the Proton and Kijang are stylish and well built cars
- You answer the telephone with “Hello” more than 2 times
- You are quite content to repeat your order six times in a restaurant that only has four items on the menu
- A T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine
- If when listening to the pilot prove he can't speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the Air Traffic Controllers
- You regard it as part of an adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different
- You're not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb
- Taxi drivers understand you
- You own a rice cooker
- Due to selective memory you honestly believe you could return to the western world
- You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your pants
- When crossing a busy street you believe that a limp wrist motion with your right arm creates a force field that repels oncoming traffic
- You think it's logical to dry your hands with Kleenex
- When dining with your family at a mexican restaurant, the table next to you is occupied by an overweight, bald, fifty-something Australian petroleum worker who has each of his arms around a teenaged Sundanese girl
- You find yourself getting upset with inflation because the price of the buffet in a five-star hotel is now nearly ten dollars
- Going out for a drink with your coworker, he shows up with his girlfriend, even though you are on a first name basis with his wife
- There is no discount for what is clearly a demo model
- A gaggle of teenage girls swoon as you walk by
- The cute looking girls in Singapore seemingly pay you no notice whatsoever
- McDonald's is out of hamburgers and KFCs is out of chicken
- You ask a person taking your order, “Do you have cheeseburgers?” and the server responds, “Yes, we do.” And so you say, “OK, I'll order a cheeseburger.” And the server says, “I'm sorry, we're out of cheeseburgers.”
- You can walk into a five-star hotel lobby unshaven, in jogging shorts, ratty t-shirt and flip-flops and DON'T get an awkward glance from the management.
- A bathroom with four attendants is so disgustingly filthy that you wouldn't step into it back home ... and one of those attendants sole job is to hand you flimsy, single-ply toilet paper to dry your hands.
- You look left, right, backwards, forwards, up and down before crossing a one way street.
- You've seen every hollywood blockbuster three weeks before its premier
- You pick your nose in public
- You take a book to read on the journey to work ( thank you for that one Mr Cook)
- You consider an 18 year old getting on a bit
- Your current girlfriend is younger than your daughter
- The titles "Mr. Bob" and "Miss Barbara" begin to sound normal to you
- You stop wondering why the concept of turning lanes never occurred to traffic engineers in Jakarta
- You stop wondering if the concept of traffic engineers ever occurred to anyone in Jakarta
- You find a fly in your Bintang, and you fish the fly out with a spoon and drink it anyway
- You find a fly in your Bintang, and you drink it fly and all. (That's how you know you have really been in Indonesia too long).
- you are no longer confused when you are asked if you want some 'beep bacon' (beef bacon) with your eggs.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Excuses
Working for the winners of society certainly has its privileges. Educating children that are catered to, nannied, driven and basically coddled since birth has allowed me to experience some of the finest excuses from physical education I have ever been privy to.
Yesterday, I had the honor of getting four parents' notes regarding why their sons could not participate in swimming.
Excuse #1: My son is still having ear infections and the doctor tells him he should not go swimming. Okay, this one is legitimate. After doing some more digging the child has had tubes in his ears when he was younger. They have been causing him trouble. Fine.
Excuse #2: There is some disease in Indonesia that makes this student throw up when he showers in cold water. The boy explained that he also tends to throw up when he eats too much. My answer to him was "Yah, it's called eating too much!". I also followed it up with a "I'm not a doctor but I think that is a stupid diagnosis. Get a second opinion."
Excuse #3: Getting better.... This boy (who, last week, missed two days of classes due to growing pains) came to me in the morning with a mommy note saying " My little Douchebag* son can not swim because he has been complaining of earaches.". Great. He later came to me and needed to go to the bathroom because he has had bleeding in his ears. Getting more legitimate. When I asked to look in his ear he had a scratch from his finger nail! I told him to keep his finger out of his ear. He also told me he suffers from nose bleeds. My answer to him "It's caused by the same finger."
Excuse #4: This was the best one yet. After years of girls having 3 weeks of menstruation in a month when teaching junior high this one has to be the lamest excuse.
Note from mom "Please excuse my little Pussy of a son* from swimming because he is a bit tired." Are you f#$king kidding me? Its a Monday morning- who isn't tired?
Anyway, as I probed the boy (no, I don't work in a Catholic school) for more information he mentioned he has been losing a lot of blood lately. Oh shit- another ear scratch! Possibly ebola? Oh, no...the student says he has been losing blood from his gums while brushing his teeth. WHAT?! Somebody find me a dentist and see if you can become anemic from brushing too hard. To solve his ailment I recommended a softer toothbrush.
Mom, I'm going to need a handful of notes when you come at Christmas.
*To protect their identity, the names of Pussy's and Douchbags have been changed.
Yesterday, I had the honor of getting four parents' notes regarding why their sons could not participate in swimming.
Excuse #1: My son is still having ear infections and the doctor tells him he should not go swimming. Okay, this one is legitimate. After doing some more digging the child has had tubes in his ears when he was younger. They have been causing him trouble. Fine.
Excuse #2: There is some disease in Indonesia that makes this student throw up when he showers in cold water. The boy explained that he also tends to throw up when he eats too much. My answer to him was "Yah, it's called eating too much!". I also followed it up with a "I'm not a doctor but I think that is a stupid diagnosis. Get a second opinion."
Excuse #3: Getting better.... This boy (who, last week, missed two days of classes due to growing pains) came to me in the morning with a mommy note saying " My little Douchebag* son can not swim because he has been complaining of earaches.". Great. He later came to me and needed to go to the bathroom because he has had bleeding in his ears. Getting more legitimate. When I asked to look in his ear he had a scratch from his finger nail! I told him to keep his finger out of his ear. He also told me he suffers from nose bleeds. My answer to him "It's caused by the same finger."
Excuse #4: This was the best one yet. After years of girls having 3 weeks of menstruation in a month when teaching junior high this one has to be the lamest excuse.
Note from mom "Please excuse my little Pussy of a son* from swimming because he is a bit tired." Are you f#$king kidding me? Its a Monday morning- who isn't tired?
Anyway, as I probed the boy (no, I don't work in a Catholic school) for more information he mentioned he has been losing a lot of blood lately. Oh shit- another ear scratch! Possibly ebola? Oh, no...the student says he has been losing blood from his gums while brushing his teeth. WHAT?! Somebody find me a dentist and see if you can become anemic from brushing too hard. To solve his ailment I recommended a softer toothbrush.
Mom, I'm going to need a handful of notes when you come at Christmas.
*To protect their identity, the names of Pussy's and Douchbags have been changed.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Haircut
I have found a new love.
At the PAXI barbershop across street is my new best friend, Unang. The man is like Edward Scissorhands. He may actually be the Chuck Norris of barbers- just glaring at my head until the hairs couldn't resist and simply break off at the appropriate length. In fact, if it wasn't for the hair hitting the floor around me I wouldn't even know he was touching my head.
He stares at the mirror and measures the length of my hair to the proportion of my ears as if DaVinci was going to critique him. I hope he noticed that my eyes are crooked and my nose is bent.
An errant hair was caught on my brow, gentle Unang whisked it away with nary a flick of his hand.
Then comes the shoulder massage. Unang performed some sort of Voodoo magic and pulled demons from my spine with his firm hands. By the time he finished my hands were tingling (and my pants may have been wet).
The first I went to him I opted for my first straight shave, ever. I came out of it with the skin of a newborn child. I think the hair was so afraid of Unang that it stayed in my face for three days.
So I am developing some new tourism ideas for Indonesia. Men, grow your hair long and visit Unang for a shave and a haircut, play some golf with 19 year-old girls carrying your clubs, and drink your face off for about $12. Women, getting touched by Unang may make you want to leave your husbands. I suggest you be careful. The power and grace in the mans hands could shake your foundations and his 'Blue Steel' gaze will make you melt to a puddle. It is a Pandora's box of manliness.
At the PAXI barbershop across street is my new best friend, Unang. The man is like Edward Scissorhands. He may actually be the Chuck Norris of barbers- just glaring at my head until the hairs couldn't resist and simply break off at the appropriate length. In fact, if it wasn't for the hair hitting the floor around me I wouldn't even know he was touching my head.
He stares at the mirror and measures the length of my hair to the proportion of my ears as if DaVinci was going to critique him. I hope he noticed that my eyes are crooked and my nose is bent.
An errant hair was caught on my brow, gentle Unang whisked it away with nary a flick of his hand.
Then comes the shoulder massage. Unang performed some sort of Voodoo magic and pulled demons from my spine with his firm hands. By the time he finished my hands were tingling (and my pants may have been wet).
The first I went to him I opted for my first straight shave, ever. I came out of it with the skin of a newborn child. I think the hair was so afraid of Unang that it stayed in my face for three days.
So I am developing some new tourism ideas for Indonesia. Men, grow your hair long and visit Unang for a shave and a haircut, play some golf with 19 year-old girls carrying your clubs, and drink your face off for about $12. Women, getting touched by Unang may make you want to leave your husbands. I suggest you be careful. The power and grace in the mans hands could shake your foundations and his 'Blue Steel' gaze will make you melt to a puddle. It is a Pandora's box of manliness.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Snorkeling
Nana came for a visit. Really, what else is a person going to do when they are recently retired but fly half-way around the world?
Well, school started on the first day of Ramadan. That means that there is a somewhat reasonable excuse for the renovations at the school to not get done. There will be another week of uselessness due to everyone recovering from Idul Fitri break. After that, everyone will simply be lazy.
Seems how our nannies had the week off we figured we would get out of town. No sense doing our own laundry and cooking when we should have someone do that for us. Off we went to Bali.
Our first experience of Bali, although wonderful, was a little underwhelming. It is hard to get around without a car and the sights are very spread out. We were encouraged to try another part of the island. In this case, we went to Seminyak.
T'was a beautiful place except for the abnormally high proportion of gay men (not that there is anything wrong with it). Many 'Sugar Daddies', too many Speedos and a lot of ass-grabbing. None of the ass-grabbing was done to me and I am still wondering if I should be offended or not.
A couple of highlights- Nana got a little teary-eyed when she saw these beautiful Macaws flying around in the bird park. They are truly wonderful and I think could only be appreciated when they are in full flight. Caden and Zoe got to feed some pelicans and Caden learned not to tease pelicans with food and that pelicans do not have teeth. He learned this when his arm was halfway in the male pelicans pouch.
With Nana fretting about getting into the ocean to do some snorkeling we was quite a trooper and jumped right in. I am scarred by the vision of her in a wetsuit but like a good son-in-law I stayed with her in the water while everyone else took off in other directions. Unfortunately, the buoyancy of the salt water was too much to overcome while pushing her head underwater.
There were a large variety of fish- fish that if you coloured them like they were no one would believe that actually exist. We did see some large Parrot fish, a Moray Eel and a Peacock shrimp. The Peacock shrimp will snap at you so fast that it can break your finger. I learned that after our guide pointed it out to us. Caden and Nana did see a big starfish, too. Marni and Nana successfully fed the fish after a bout of seasickness. All wonderful memories!?
Back to work on Monday. Time to think about what to do during our next break. We are thinking of heading to Krakatoa for some hiking.
Well, school started on the first day of Ramadan. That means that there is a somewhat reasonable excuse for the renovations at the school to not get done. There will be another week of uselessness due to everyone recovering from Idul Fitri break. After that, everyone will simply be lazy.
Seems how our nannies had the week off we figured we would get out of town. No sense doing our own laundry and cooking when we should have someone do that for us. Off we went to Bali.
Our first experience of Bali, although wonderful, was a little underwhelming. It is hard to get around without a car and the sights are very spread out. We were encouraged to try another part of the island. In this case, we went to Seminyak.
T'was a beautiful place except for the abnormally high proportion of gay men (not that there is anything wrong with it). Many 'Sugar Daddies', too many Speedos and a lot of ass-grabbing. None of the ass-grabbing was done to me and I am still wondering if I should be offended or not.
A couple of highlights- Nana got a little teary-eyed when she saw these beautiful Macaws flying around in the bird park. They are truly wonderful and I think could only be appreciated when they are in full flight. Caden and Zoe got to feed some pelicans and Caden learned not to tease pelicans with food and that pelicans do not have teeth. He learned this when his arm was halfway in the male pelicans pouch.
With Nana fretting about getting into the ocean to do some snorkeling we was quite a trooper and jumped right in. I am scarred by the vision of her in a wetsuit but like a good son-in-law I stayed with her in the water while everyone else took off in other directions. Unfortunately, the buoyancy of the salt water was too much to overcome while pushing her head underwater.
There were a large variety of fish- fish that if you coloured them like they were no one would believe that actually exist. We did see some large Parrot fish, a Moray Eel and a Peacock shrimp. The Peacock shrimp will snap at you so fast that it can break your finger. I learned that after our guide pointed it out to us. Caden and Nana did see a big starfish, too. Marni and Nana successfully fed the fish after a bout of seasickness. All wonderful memories!?
Back to work on Monday. Time to think about what to do during our next break. We are thinking of heading to Krakatoa for some hiking.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
New School
Apparently, many of you have been missing your dose of me. I am sure that there is a hole in your heart that cannot be filled by anything other then the words I scribe.
After returning from the paparazzi-filled, pig-ass eating trip to China we returned to the squalor of Jakarta. After realizing that 4:15 every morning is the time for the locals to pray we are reconsidering our move to the south side of Jakarta. Let me just say that the local religious folk are not belting out tunes by Frank Sinatra. More like Janis Joplin sober....and the name Mohammed mentioned several times. But, for a small donation I can get the local mosque to move the direction of the loudspeaker.
We are in the midst of Ramadan. The locals are fasting from sunup to sundown. This is wonderful because now there is a legitimate excuse for them not doing a good job of anything. Sadly, many of our students are fasting as well. They are dragging their sorry, skinny bodies around the school. There are some as young as grade 1 fasting for the full day. Although, I guess the rule is that a child should hit puberty before starting the fasting process. I do have a great deal of respect for the people that are able to fast and still have a productive day.
We did hear a story of some local American kids (have to be Americans) that replaced the mosque prayer recording with a Beastie Boys cassette. Needless to say at 4:15 the locals awoke to a great surprise. By 4:30 am the young boys and their families were being deported with the threat of death. Who knew you couldn't make fun of someone else's deity? He did invent the platypus.
We started work at our new school in south Jakarta and things are quite a bit different. Zoe and Caden are not the only blonde children. That is a bonus. They are also not the tallest children in the whole elementary school.
Marni and I are the only two teachers without an accent. Well, there is a girl from Vancouver but I am not sure we can count her. We have to use terms like 'fortnightly' and 'rubbish'. I have introduced terms such as 'hoser' and 'toque' but have yet to educate the others in Canadianisms such as 'Jesus H Christ' and 'For Fuck's Sake!'. I may wait until after Christmas to bring out those bombshells.
I have been assigned a Year 6 (Grade 5) classroom. Cute little kids but they do not understand sarcasm. Losers! I have never had the chance to do everything in a classroom but now I am doing spelling, english and checking journals. I am totally out of my element. But, I think it will be a blessing in disguise. Not really in disguise, just dressed as 4 foot Koreans. Like Ewoks!
This past weekend we had to travel to Singapore for our work visas. We celebrated our 12th anniversary and Zoe's seventh birthday there. We did a very Canadian thing in that we went to 'Snow City' which is a large warehouse filled with a tobogganing hill and slushy snow. The temperature was a balmy -5 which was our first experience with below freezing temperatures since we left. Actually, it is our first experience with temperatures below 25 degrees.
We also hit Universal Studios over our trip. Betty Boop was undeniably Asian and Marilyn Munroe was apparently a transvestite but Kung Foo Panda was exactly as you would have expected. Marni was all cocky when she noticed the local Doo Wop group giving her the eye. When I explained that they did the same to me she was a little more humble. Zoe and I went onto a huge roller coaster and when we finished she had the greatest smile on her face. She wanted to go again! Seven more times later, she had to finally pack it in. Marni only went once....wuss!
So, we are now legal in Jakarta again eagerly awaiting Kathleen's arrival and the end of Ramadan. We will celebrate the Muslin 'Xmas by going to the predominately Hindu island of Bali. I know many of you would envision Bali as paradise. But, if you think that white sand beaches, fabulous food, rainforests and wonderful surf is paradise then........you should come and visit.
After returning from the paparazzi-filled, pig-ass eating trip to China we returned to the squalor of Jakarta. After realizing that 4:15 every morning is the time for the locals to pray we are reconsidering our move to the south side of Jakarta. Let me just say that the local religious folk are not belting out tunes by Frank Sinatra. More like Janis Joplin sober....and the name Mohammed mentioned several times. But, for a small donation I can get the local mosque to move the direction of the loudspeaker.
We are in the midst of Ramadan. The locals are fasting from sunup to sundown. This is wonderful because now there is a legitimate excuse for them not doing a good job of anything. Sadly, many of our students are fasting as well. They are dragging their sorry, skinny bodies around the school. There are some as young as grade 1 fasting for the full day. Although, I guess the rule is that a child should hit puberty before starting the fasting process. I do have a great deal of respect for the people that are able to fast and still have a productive day.
We did hear a story of some local American kids (have to be Americans) that replaced the mosque prayer recording with a Beastie Boys cassette. Needless to say at 4:15 the locals awoke to a great surprise. By 4:30 am the young boys and their families were being deported with the threat of death. Who knew you couldn't make fun of someone else's deity? He did invent the platypus.
We started work at our new school in south Jakarta and things are quite a bit different. Zoe and Caden are not the only blonde children. That is a bonus. They are also not the tallest children in the whole elementary school.
Marni and I are the only two teachers without an accent. Well, there is a girl from Vancouver but I am not sure we can count her. We have to use terms like 'fortnightly' and 'rubbish'. I have introduced terms such as 'hoser' and 'toque' but have yet to educate the others in Canadianisms such as 'Jesus H Christ' and 'For Fuck's Sake!'. I may wait until after Christmas to bring out those bombshells.
I have been assigned a Year 6 (Grade 5) classroom. Cute little kids but they do not understand sarcasm. Losers! I have never had the chance to do everything in a classroom but now I am doing spelling, english and checking journals. I am totally out of my element. But, I think it will be a blessing in disguise. Not really in disguise, just dressed as 4 foot Koreans. Like Ewoks!
This past weekend we had to travel to Singapore for our work visas. We celebrated our 12th anniversary and Zoe's seventh birthday there. We did a very Canadian thing in that we went to 'Snow City' which is a large warehouse filled with a tobogganing hill and slushy snow. The temperature was a balmy -5 which was our first experience with below freezing temperatures since we left. Actually, it is our first experience with temperatures below 25 degrees.
We also hit Universal Studios over our trip. Betty Boop was undeniably Asian and Marilyn Munroe was apparently a transvestite but Kung Foo Panda was exactly as you would have expected. Marni was all cocky when she noticed the local Doo Wop group giving her the eye. When I explained that they did the same to me she was a little more humble. Zoe and I went onto a huge roller coaster and when we finished she had the greatest smile on her face. She wanted to go again! Seven more times later, she had to finally pack it in. Marni only went once....wuss!
So, we are now legal in Jakarta again eagerly awaiting Kathleen's arrival and the end of Ramadan. We will celebrate the Muslin 'Xmas by going to the predominately Hindu island of Bali. I know many of you would envision Bali as paradise. But, if you think that white sand beaches, fabulous food, rainforests and wonderful surf is paradise then........you should come and visit.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Lost in Translation
Marni and I were on the hunt for some badly translated t-shirts while in China. While we never found some for sale, there is a few that we saw on other people that were quite funny.
Basketball is very popular in China. You may be a huge fan of the NBV's Miami HFAT or Orlando MHGIC or the L.A. LACERS. All shirts were very popular.
Maybe you are into exercise. To motivate yourself you live by the mantra 'No Paint, No gain'.
You could be into top designer labels like, Kalvin Clein or Parda.
Then, on the train- not a t-shirt, but in the bathroom you were warned "not to flush while meeting emu". We have no idea what that could have ever meant.
While at the museum in Xian there were signs marking the ancient pottery. All three said "Plate with depiction of bear". Great, meanwhile one plate has a bear, one has a fox and the other a turtle. the explaination in Mandarin was correct, the translation was a tad off.
At the zoo we learned that a Walrus is a large fish found in the amazon river of South America. Hmmm.
Inuit use caribou to pull sleds. Maybe they do.......I don't know.
One of the greatest 'feel good' set of signs we saw were the Stay off the grass signs. They were not that blunt but were messages such as "Budda deserves your peity. Do not destroy the beautiful nature". "The grass brings beauty to your life and should be respected". "Share your environment with others.", etc. There were many others that were wonderful to read.
All these signs were lost on the Chinese, though. At the zoo, the 'Do not feed the animals' sign was followed....unless you talking about the ostrich. Then, you could feed them chips. Or zebra. They were not fed but letting your son piss into there enclosure while almost getting his dick chewed off by a wild donkey was fair game. Oh yah, and Baboons like Sprite. Who knew?
And I did learn how universal teh F-word is while a "Taxi Driver" tried to load our bags into his "cab" at the train station. Zoe got right into it by grabbing the suitcase and pulling it away from him. Caden was truly upset by the man then all the other Cabbies got pissed off at the guy. Then, a legitimate cab offered to take us to the hotel. Mental note....blonde kids crying is a great way to get anything.....except toys from his parents.
Basketball is very popular in China. You may be a huge fan of the NBV's Miami HFAT or Orlando MHGIC or the L.A. LACERS. All shirts were very popular.
Maybe you are into exercise. To motivate yourself you live by the mantra 'No Paint, No gain'.
You could be into top designer labels like, Kalvin Clein or Parda.
Then, on the train- not a t-shirt, but in the bathroom you were warned "not to flush while meeting emu". We have no idea what that could have ever meant.
While at the museum in Xian there were signs marking the ancient pottery. All three said "Plate with depiction of bear". Great, meanwhile one plate has a bear, one has a fox and the other a turtle. the explaination in Mandarin was correct, the translation was a tad off.
At the zoo we learned that a Walrus is a large fish found in the amazon river of South America. Hmmm.
Inuit use caribou to pull sleds. Maybe they do.......I don't know.
One of the greatest 'feel good' set of signs we saw were the Stay off the grass signs. They were not that blunt but were messages such as "Budda deserves your peity. Do not destroy the beautiful nature". "The grass brings beauty to your life and should be respected". "Share your environment with others.", etc. There were many others that were wonderful to read.
All these signs were lost on the Chinese, though. At the zoo, the 'Do not feed the animals' sign was followed....unless you talking about the ostrich. Then, you could feed them chips. Or zebra. They were not fed but letting your son piss into there enclosure while almost getting his dick chewed off by a wild donkey was fair game. Oh yah, and Baboons like Sprite. Who knew?
And I did learn how universal teh F-word is while a "Taxi Driver" tried to load our bags into his "cab" at the train station. Zoe got right into it by grabbing the suitcase and pulling it away from him. Caden was truly upset by the man then all the other Cabbies got pissed off at the guy. Then, a legitimate cab offered to take us to the hotel. Mental note....blonde kids crying is a great way to get anything.....except toys from his parents.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
China
It has been a while since a post but we have been blocked by the Chinese govenment. Apparently, the Chairman has not been too accepting of things like facebook because a few bad apples in the middle east.
Anyway, we made our way to China to meet our friend, and fellow teacher, Josh. We first ended up in the city of Nanjing. I guess we were the first white people ever to set foot in the city because we could not sit down and enjoy an ice cream without crowds of people gathering. In fact, the paparazzi has been out in full force during our visit. It is really, the first time we have been offended and aggravated by people.
Highlights of Nanjing: Well, Josh introduced us to many of his Professors and Instructors from University. They were all very friendly and wanted to take us out to dinner. His one professor decided that we needed to be Chinese and told to me that many Chinese will drink until they are drunk at a table. It would be dishonourable to leave the table without being drunk. That was all fine and good except for the fact that he did not venture to look at the alcohol content of Chinese beer. His measely 3% alcohol was no match for a well fed, 170 lb. Canadian. Lets just say the old guy was dishonoured as he fell off his chair and I danced through the restaurant.
We had our first taste of some true Chinese culture while taking a 14 hour train ride to Xi'an. Lets just say that bunk beds and chldren do not mix. We saw some beautiful countryside very reminiscent of Alberta. Xi'an was the capital city of China for many of the major Dynasties, including the first one. We were able to see the famed Terra-cotta Warriors which were a splendor. We were also treated to some marvels at the local museum that featured art from more than 3000 years ago. Interesting to think that 3000 years ago the Chinese were making fine pottery and art and our Natives were still wallowing in mud until 150 years ago.
Off to Beijing on a high speed train. Beijing is a beautiful city. We have visited Tianamen square, the Forbidden City (which, ironically, nobody of forbidden from for the low, low price of 60Yen). I had a meeting with the Chairman but he was at a loss for words. The Beijing zoo, albeit a lack of live animals was okay. THe kids were more the hit then the Pandas. Apparently, blonde children are more endangered then Pandas.
Today, we visited the Great Wall. Absolutely stunning. There is a saying that "You are not a man until you walk on the Great Wall". Well, Caden hit puberty today because that little guy marched his ass off. Good on ya, Little Buddy. We were dealt a reprieve with the locals because there was a two-year old redhead from Michigan to take on the assault.
I will add some more later. Shamus was out in full force, sightseeing these days.
Anyway, we made our way to China to meet our friend, and fellow teacher, Josh. We first ended up in the city of Nanjing. I guess we were the first white people ever to set foot in the city because we could not sit down and enjoy an ice cream without crowds of people gathering. In fact, the paparazzi has been out in full force during our visit. It is really, the first time we have been offended and aggravated by people.
Highlights of Nanjing: Well, Josh introduced us to many of his Professors and Instructors from University. They were all very friendly and wanted to take us out to dinner. His one professor decided that we needed to be Chinese and told to me that many Chinese will drink until they are drunk at a table. It would be dishonourable to leave the table without being drunk. That was all fine and good except for the fact that he did not venture to look at the alcohol content of Chinese beer. His measely 3% alcohol was no match for a well fed, 170 lb. Canadian. Lets just say the old guy was dishonoured as he fell off his chair and I danced through the restaurant.
We had our first taste of some true Chinese culture while taking a 14 hour train ride to Xi'an. Lets just say that bunk beds and chldren do not mix. We saw some beautiful countryside very reminiscent of Alberta. Xi'an was the capital city of China for many of the major Dynasties, including the first one. We were able to see the famed Terra-cotta Warriors which were a splendor. We were also treated to some marvels at the local museum that featured art from more than 3000 years ago. Interesting to think that 3000 years ago the Chinese were making fine pottery and art and our Natives were still wallowing in mud until 150 years ago.
Off to Beijing on a high speed train. Beijing is a beautiful city. We have visited Tianamen square, the Forbidden City (which, ironically, nobody of forbidden from for the low, low price of 60Yen). I had a meeting with the Chairman but he was at a loss for words. The Beijing zoo, albeit a lack of live animals was okay. THe kids were more the hit then the Pandas. Apparently, blonde children are more endangered then Pandas.
Today, we visited the Great Wall. Absolutely stunning. There is a saying that "You are not a man until you walk on the Great Wall". Well, Caden hit puberty today because that little guy marched his ass off. Good on ya, Little Buddy. We were dealt a reprieve with the locals because there was a two-year old redhead from Michigan to take on the assault.
I will add some more later. Shamus was out in full force, sightseeing these days.
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